The way your head is pounding,
you can barely stand, never mind think.
Just the sight of the ball on that little white spot,
is enough to make your heart sink.
Of course the penalty-taker’s expected to score,
but you’ll feel no better I bet,
if you dive in the wrong direction
and the ball’s in the back of the net.
It’s cruel how quickly a shoot-out can turn,
when it looks like your team’s on the mend,
each shot’s a bullet to the top-left corner,
and the ball’s designed to drive you round the bend.
Everyone knows you shouldn’t “read the shot”,
and never guess – just react,
but though it seems the moment lasts hours,
you forget everything – that’s a fact.
First comes the centre-forward,
always out to surprise,
takes some ridiculous run-up,
whatever you do, don’t look in their eyes!
if they’re right-footed, dive to the left,
Left footer? Go to the right,
and unless you’re certain, wait for the shot,
or you leave the whole goal in their sight.
Personally, when I’m in this hell,
feeling everything but bored,
the only thing inside my head is
“nine out of ten are scored”
Surely there’s another way,
to settle things after a draw,
something less apopclyptic,
that dosen’t make you want to stay on the floor.