Visit to the Doctor
¶ 1
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“Come in, Mr. Goulding and sit yourself down,
And tell how the divil you are.
And while I’m removing this surgical gown,
Will you see can you fill this wee jar?
¶ 2
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‘On second thoughts, no. I don’t think there’s much need.
Your problem seems perfectly clear.
But just to make thoroughly certain indeed
I’ll shine this bright light down your ear.
¶ 3
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‘I take it you went down to Tolka last night
To watch Shelbourne play Dublin City?
And now you expect me to make matters right
And dish out a large dose of pity?
¶ 4
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‘These last-minute winners, so quick and dramatic,
Should carry a Government warning,
For you are the seventeenth Shelbourne fanatic
That’s come in to see me this morning.
¶ 5
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‘Your jaw must be aching and yearning for rest,
With the muscles fixed in the one place.
These pills I’m prescribing are up to the test,
They’ll soon get that smile off your face.”
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