Re-run that dancing programme
The one that I despise
Anything’s better than Lawro and Hansen
Lauding over our demise.
Tried watching Spanish football
In The Bernabeau they were singing
Anythings better than the facts in full
How it all went North at Wigan.
Our living room is deathly quiet
“Kev, not watching Match of the Day?”
To which I bite my tongue to keep inside
The words I wanna say.
Sunday lunch is cancelled
By the vultures in the press
With reporting on the scandal
Aimed at causing more distress.
Lunchtime pubs sit silent
As funereal pints are sunk
Come Monday morn we’ll realize
Proud record held is gone.
I’ll clean the winders, walk the dog
Or go up to bed and sleep
Coz if I have to hear how it all went wrong
Once more, I honestly think I’ll weep.
Next match we’re off to Cyprus
To get our season back on track
Right now it seems for a lot of us
Our week-end off’s turned dismal black!