Football Poets

Let’s hear it for the ladies

Oh, let’s hear it for the ladies
A thousand hosannas,
Male gratitude and relief
At long last
The drinks are on the
Men of fallibility
And 56 years of
Utter bewilderment
And defeat, defeat
After yet another
Like the factory conveyor
Belt
The ladies have won
Euro 2022
There we’ve said it
It sounds like sour grapes
Since the masculinity of
Our lives now
Leaves an aching sense
Of yearning to be who
You Are
Well done girls
You were impeccable
Exposing the macho
And the machismo
In all its bravado
56 years of footballing
Inadequacy, the sickening
Penalty shoot outs
In Italy and Euro 96
The male facade
Of bravery, heroism
But no trophies
Simply destined to fail
At times
Congratulations to England
Women, if only we’d listened
To you when you told Gareth
To blast his penalty home
In Euro 96
Or acknowledged the
Existence of the net
When Stuart Pearce
And Chris Waddle
Eventually discovered
Their penalties in a
Rome back garden
Girls, you were magnificent
In your unparalleled magnificence
Perhaps you ought to pass your
Infinite wisdom and knowledge
Onto Gareth’s men just before
Christmas family knees ups
Lucy Bronze, Beth Mead,
Ella Toone and Keira Walsh
Names to be inscribed in
The permanent pantheon
Of greatness
Such togetherness
Solidarity, defiance
Of the odds
Clarity of thinking
Thoughts of wondrous
Co-ordination
Marching to the beat
Of glorious European
Champions victory
And so the men of the
World hide behind
Sofas in a cowardly
Embarrassed, crumpled
Heap. If only Harry Kane
Could do the same again
In Qatar
Now that would redress
The gender balance
Unquestionably
But Ella Toone
And Chloe Kelly
You put the gentlemen
To shame
Could you act as
Inspirational gurus
For the end of year
World Cup football
Symposium
The male population
Are in dire need of
Encouragement.
Words of gentle
Advice and guidance
Anything to win
A Euro or World Cup
Some motivational rallying
Cry
Tell them to think of Churchill
Or Lord Nelson
That’s bound to do the trick
Come on men
You can do it.

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