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Stoke City 0-4 Chelsea

Borat Skorbard

Monday, January 14th, 2013

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Goals one and two
of unlikely distribution
Jonathan Walters wretched
with his ill-timed contribution

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 for both of his headers
flew past his own keeper
robbing our own Frank
(still an agile leaper)

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Splitting the goals
a decision of precision…

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Penalty for Stoke overruled
flagged up by Sian Massey
a linesperson impressing with every game
her verdicts always sure and sassy

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Then Lamps bagged a peno
Kerry Dixon’s tenure upset
Hazard bags a belter
but it’s a day Walters best forget!!

© Borat Skorbard, January 12th 2013

Notes

Premiership match # 21

Poor ‘ol Jonathan Walters.

2 o.g.s and then, near the end of the game, the returning JT trips him.
But Walters slammed the resultant penalty off the topside of the crossbar.

And earlier in the game, Jonathan had tried to hook the ball over his head, only to kick it into his own face!
He was able to laugh it off then, but it was a sign of things to come…..

Just chalk it down as a bad day at the office Jon.

Pre-match, lots of focus on him, as he has started 72 consecutive Premiership matches, very impressive record. Nearly double the next best, James McCarthy at Wigan.
And this was his landmark 100th Premiership appearance.
I’m sure Tony Pulis will stand by Walters and start him next week too.

Three other players have scored two own goals in a single Premier League game – Gary Breen while playing for Coventry against Manchester United in 1997, Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher against Manchester United in 1999 and Michael Proctor while playing for Sunderland against Charlton in 2003.
Statistic courtesy of Opta

Sian Massey impresses the hell out of me every time I see her officiating.

In every match, she comes up with a controversial call – which, when inspected in slo-mo, proves to be absolutely spot-on! Fair play.

Referee Andre Marriner had pointed to the spot for a trip on Matthew Etherington by A-zee, but Sian had already correctly flagged for offside and stood her ground in front of an intimidating crowd.

“Kerry Dixon’s tenure upset”?
For about 20 years he has been the second top scorer in history for Chelsea.
Frank Lampard scored his 194th goal for Chelsea – he is now one ahead of Kerry Dixon.

Eden Hazard’s 30yd strike was a wonderful goal too.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/stoke-city-0-4-chelsea/