THE DAY THE VIDEOPRINTER WENT MAD
¶ 1
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I’ll never forget the Saturday afternoon
the videoprinter went barking mad-
¶ 2
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It began with what seemed like a chance result:
East Fife 5 Forfar 4
then it followed it up with a plausible slip:
Bolton 2 Pressed On 1
We really weren’t too sure when we saw
Southampton 3 Northampton 3
Looton 1 Bognor 2
and we realised it had completely lost the plot
when it spewed out
Motherwell 2 Mothercare 4
West Ham 3 Bolied Ham 1
Queen of the South 0 King of Spades 5
¶ 3
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Suddenly, there was chaos in the studio,
voices could be heard panicking in the background-
but there was no stopping it:
¶ 4
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Chester 0 Drawers 0
Crystal Palace 2 Buckingham Palace 1
Leyton Orient 1 Orient Express 6
Aston Vanilla 1 Birmingham Tutti Frutti 7
¶ 5
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In desperation, they pulled the plug
and, slowly, the screen crackled
and fizzed like a dying firework.
But not before it had time
for a final parting finale:
¶ 6
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Ayr 1 Hydrogen 2
Liverpool 0 Muddy Pool 2
Wolves
0
Little
Pigs
3
¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 And then it all went black.
¶ 8
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Looking back now, I don’t know
if it really did go mad-
perhaps it was just
very, very bored.
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