Football Poets

Adiós Steve McClaren & the UEFA Cup.

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 To the land of the tulips, the dykes and the clogs,
The Boro lads have travelled as the underdogs,
To bring down the curtain on a great campaign,
With the Cup overflowing with OUR champagne.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Eindhoven’s brimming over with the teams’ supporters,
Many answering queries from the world’s reporters,
The mood’s one of great joy on this friendly occasion,
As fans wait to witness this great occasion.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The build-up’s been fantastic – the UEFA Cup in view,
Then came the moment we’d awaited and the ref’s whistle blew,
On every player’s face a look of sheer determination,
There’s no further opportunity for a moment’s relaxation.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 All the Boro ‘Big Names’ are in there from the start,
Who’ll finish feeling joyful? Who’ll have a broken heart?
It’s great to see Mark Schwarzer back, wearing his Zorro mask,
And every player is ‘up’ for this most monumental task.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 In the very early stages we had the clearest indication,
That we were in for ninety minutes of really close examination,
As if to demonstrate the sort of task that we were facing,
Sevilla missed by inches, to set the Boro hearts a’ racing.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 A foul on Mark Viduka was something quite atrocious,
And Rochemback’s kick from twenty yards, was precise and so ferocious,
The ‘keeper somehow parried but then ultimately prevailed,
As Downing sought to capitalise but, unfortunately, he failed.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 With Boro looking nervous, we really need to be alert,
To the dangers down the left, and we were very nearly hurt,
With Riggott twice found wanting, it was left to ‘Mark the Mask,’
Then he performed the miracles and for more no one could ask.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Right on twenty-five minutes came the moment we’d been fearing,
When a goal from Fabiano had the Spanish fans all cheering,
Rochemback went missing and Riggott didn’t get up close,
And a goal made in Brazil left the Boro lads so morose.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 The ball delivered in was of the very highest class,
Terrific header: great technique: impossible to surpass,
One had really to admire the great Brazilian toreador,
We now have it all to do: but we have been here before.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 The Boro were looking twitchy and struggling on the ropes,
But the storm must now be weathered to maintain the Boro’s hopes,
It was a situation, with which many of us had reckoned,
So we must now reach the interval and not concede a second.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 That target was achieved but with more than slight relief,
For another Spanish goal would surely mean much Boro grief,
With the Boro fans crestfallen it is now, ‘Advantage Spain,’
And I doubt a happy end now to Steve McClaren’s reign.
———-
So, once again the Boro need to come back from behind,
Can McClaren, as a swan song, prove once more the mastermind?
But it quickly was apparent – at least I had that hunch,
That, by pressing on, the Boro risked another sucker punch.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 A chance fell to Viduka, which he gave one mighty clout,
But Palop was outstanding, and he kept the effort out,
Then, as Boro really struggled in this mighty tug-of-war,
We introduced Massimo to see again the ‘The Famous Four.’

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 A stonewall penalty was denied with ‘The Dook’ callously felled,
Navarro pleaded innocence and that the referee upheld,
There is not the slightest doubt; our man was well and truly floored,
But appeals from all the Boro lads were totally ignored.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 You win some and you lose some, we’ve all heard that before,
And then, almost immediately, Maresca’s up to score,
So, with one hand on the trophy and with time fast running out,
Sevilla scored two more goals, to secure an absolute rout.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Our back door was left open: we were totally dejected,
And gratefully, by Sevilla, the invitation was accepted,
Another from Maresca then Kanoute scored as well,
To end the Boro’s journey on the road that led to hell.

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 We were beaten by a good side, and we want no repetition,
Four-nil’s the greatest margin ever, in this particular competition,
Against the rampant Spaniards we put up not much resistance,
And the better team had triumphed, by some enormous distance.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 So, it was just one game too far, but one thing it does confirm,
There’s be no UEFA games at the Riverside next term,
This one broke the camel’s back: the last proverbial straw,
But, having tasted Euro football, we can’t wait to get some more.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Of this ‘Little Town In Europe,’ the football world will now take note,
And few, I would imagine, will now laugh at us and gloat,
So, as you sit at home recovering from the deep depths of despair,
Remember that we’ve been there, and that’s something pretty rare.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 Just really puff your chest out and call out rather loud,
For, although our favourites lost they most certainly did us proud,
Remember all the great times and accept commiserations,
But, most of all, send Sevilla your sincere ‘Congratulations.’

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 And now to Steve McClaren as he enters pastures new,
Let’s hope he brings to England what is long, long overdue,
As the World Cup clock so slowly, but surely ever-downward clicks,
How marvellous it would be to see a repeat of sixty-six.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 And finally, to Mr. Gibson, the chairman of our club,
He was so gracious in defeat: he’ll not sit around and blub,
He’ll be pulling all the stops to get the manager we deserve,
A man to keep the Boro on their ever-upwards curve.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 George Kirby

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 (11-05-2006)