Anyone for Pizza?
¶ 1
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Sir Alex is a splendid chap who earns a lot of dosh.
He likes good beer, fine vintage wine and solid, wholesome nosh.
Just send an invitation out, and you will surely find,
He’ll come and have a meal chez toi whenever you’re inclined.
¶ 2
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A nice, hot home-baked Shepherd’s Pie he’ll be most glad to scoff.
A Vindaloo or Irish Stew he’ll briskly polish off.
Paella? He’s your fella! Lasagna? Al’s your man!
A Quiche Lorraine he’ll put away, away like no-one can.
¶ 3
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Or serve up plaice ‘n’ chips ‘n’ peas – he will not be displeased.
He’ll wolf a Wiener Schnitzel down, or Macaroni Cheese.
Or Toad in Hole, a Dover Sole or even Mash ‘n’ Bangers,
(As long as you are careful not to mention Arsène Wenger).
¶ 4
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But watch your step, alert your Chef,
When you draw up your menu.
One faux pas you must not commit,
If any sense you’ve in you.
¶ 5
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There’s just one dish you should not risk,
When Fergie comes to eat, Sir.
Whate’er you choose, I’m warning you,
Don’t offer him a pizza!
¶ 6
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19/2/05
Denys E. W. Jones
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