Back of the Net
¶ 1
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I claim to be a Luddite
New technology I’m loathe to try
But I’m not quite that old dinosaur
Where everything has passed me by.
I’ve got a mobile phone
Not one of them fancy computer things
But I’m ‘modern’ enough to do the basics
Sending texts and answering when it rings.
It doesn’t make it any easier
When I have to work on the day of a game
Keeping an eye on the computers
Live up-dates aren’t the same.
Dealing with the public at the counter
That’s my library role
Pretending that I’m interested
When all I want is FootballWebPages and a goal.
The clock is slowly ticking
Almost time to close the doors
But I’ve got no interest in that
I just want to scan the scores.
Other teams are winning
But we are still nil nil
Come on…it’s just another game
Calm down and start to chill.
But even if I’m not there
Not winning ruins my week
Scared to have another look
Losing is so bleak.
It’s gone into stoppage time
One last press ‘refresh’
Get in there! One nil from the new boy
Who cares if I’m not there in the flesh.
The wonder of the modern age
No waiting for Ceefax at home
Now we only have to wait a second
For each and every goal to be shown.
None of that old clunkiness
Waiting for page seven of fifty four
Then you’d lose concentration
And waste half an hour going round once more.
No longer wading through Spartans & Athenians
Waiting for the Isthmian page
Then it turns too quickly cos we’re at Woking
Making me fly into a rage.
Thank you to the internet inventor
Cos Ceefax was so tricky
Today I’ve got instant gratification
From a last minute winner against Billericay.
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