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Basel Faulty

Peter Goulding

Monday, October 13th, 2003

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Disappointed, not distraught,
We’re not as good as we had thought.
Inflated dreams conspired to dazzle
Irish eyes that went to Basel.
Defence as holey as Swiss cheese,
There’s no point learning Portuguese.
Keane and Duffer barely figured,
Frei and Chapuisat both sniggered,
Midfield barely posed a threat,
Performances we may forget,
Frightened of the Swiss attackin’,
Gugelhopfed by Hakan Yakin.
When Frei poached their second goal
We all looked for a Heidi hole.
Put it bluntly, we were dismal,
Deserved to lose and quite abysmal,
Never ever looked like scoring,
Build ups tedious and boring,
No wonder that the Irish crowd
Barely spoke a word out loud,
Overrun by reds and whites
And cowbells ringing for the Schweiz.
Blame it on McCarthy, sure,
But don’t pretend that we weren’t poor.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 So, disappointment by the Rhein,
But not as bad as Liechtenstein.

© Peter Goulding 13th October 2003

Notes

I don’t like criticising Shels or Ireland, but, sorry Siobhan, I thought we were passionless and unimaginative against the Swiss, and it was torture sitting through it to see how far we have fallen since Japan. We’ve never been the most skilful nation on earth, but our spirit ensures that our total is greater than the sum of our parts. But on Saturday, there was nothing. Back to the bad old days of the eighties, I reckon.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/basel-faulty/