Football Poets

Birmingham v Boro (23-08-2005)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 It’s a great night for football in Birmingham’s St. Andrews,
And we’re ready for a game that I’d suggest we dare not lose,
It’s 27 years since we won here and morale does need a boost,
So, if we fail to gain a victory the chicks may well come home to roost.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Morrison, on the right wing, is immediately prominent,
Though in a fairly scrappy start neither side is dominant,
But now we’re playing two men wide we’re in with a real shout,
And we’ll certainly give the hosts a great deal to think about.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 On the edge of Boro’s area Southgate’s now under great pressure,
Though all in all it does appear the lads are looking fresher,
Then a great ball, whipped in from the left, was met by Nicky Butt,
But Schwarzer, moving swiftly, kept the Boro’s door tightly shut.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Immediately at the other end we see the pressure mount,
And Jimmy should have really opened up the Boro’s account,
It was a gilt-edged opportunity and McClaren went berserk,
And Floyd’s so disappointed he didn’t make the ‘keeper work.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Just on the quarter-hour Morrison did what we’d expected,
Opened up an invitation which Viduka readily accepted,
A better ball, drilled from the right, you’ll simply never get,
And Viduka finished it stunningly, so high into the net.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Twenty-plus yards out from goal Pandiani’s pushed to ground,
So up steps Jermaine Pennant, hoping a way through could be found,
But this time the free-kick master couldn’t find the wherewithal,
And the job’s done, fairly easily, by the four men in the wall.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Maik Taylor struck Viduka with a really sloppy clearance,
And the Aussie would have scored with a bit more perseverance,
But he dillied and he dallied when all he had to do was clout it,
And it should have been his second goal; there’s just no doubt about it.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 The ball was fed by Downing and he beautifully took it down,
Then the result was disappointing and it finished with a frown,
It was drilled towards the Blues’ goal, with great speed and direction,
And a fine save by the ‘keeper followed a dangerous deflection.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 A deflected shot by Tebily brought Mark Schwarzer into action,
And he really had to stretch and gained tremendous satisfaction,
Then a tackle came from Boateng that was out of all proportion,
And it was not at all surprising he got a quick, official caution.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Messing about inside the box brought Boro massive risks,
And what Ehiogu then had to say must be shown in asterisks,
Reiziger was the culprit; Pandiani well nigh made him pay,
But Schwarzer got behind it to once more save the Boro’s day.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Our big man from Australia then showed us such tremendous skill,
Shielding the ball, then turning, then out to Stew did drill,
He tried to nutmeg Upson as the ball fell from the sky,
But young Downing was then thwarted as he sought to let one fly.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Reiziger passed back to the goal and Jarosik almost nicked it,
He’d have been left with an open goal, had Mark Schwarzer then miskicked it,
Although he came out smiling, Schwarzer couldn’t really leather it,
‘t was a scary little moment but we managed somehow to weather it.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Then came the second goal for Boro, and what a goal it was!
An unstoppable shot: magnificent: sheer wizardry from Oz,
Birmingham have the Blues and you should see the face of Bruce,
His side is really on the ropes and he’s changed a shade of puce.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Loud booing from the home fans as they’re finally laid low,
For that wonder-strike for number two was the ultimate knockout blow,
Let’s quieten them still further as we seek goal number three,
But the strike that we’ve just witnessed, one would travel miles to see.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 ———-

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 Clemence makes way for Izzet and Tebily for Forssell,
Although I’d say that Birmingham do not have a hope in hell,
So, “same again please” from the Boro: you need to have no fears,
Go, wrap up a welcome victory: the first in 27 years.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 Pandiani gets the ball when Forssell shrugs off Gareth Southgate,
He’s twenty-five yards from our goal and he starts to speculate,
But, like the ‘Slow Boat To China,’ he needed too much time,
And, the way the chance was squandered, well, it really was a crime.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Morrison’s run then takes him to the heart of their defence,
And Boro fans now hold their breath; yes, such is the suspense,
Then Jimmy took it far too wide; at sixes and at sevens,
And Viduka’s disappointed as he looks towards the heavens.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 Jimmy had the chance to earn some extra for his payday,
But it would have been impossible for Maradona in his heyday,
That this finally went a’ begging is really unbelievable,
For Jimmy took it far too wide and his task was unachievable.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 “Gray’s on for Pandiani” is the announcement that I heard,
And he timed it to perfection to see the Boro get their third,
Downing floated one to Queudrue then, as easy as you like,
He found the space to slide in for a truly, simple strike.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 Butt then sent a header really high above the bar,
Not what you’d expect from one with such a repertoire,
Bruce’s face is just a picture with a gaze that’s truly stony,
Then Jimmy’s taken off and who’s come on? It’s Maccarone.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 Why JFH was rested is, to many, most unclear,
But for the ‘wandering’ Italian there came one almighty cheer,
Downing swung one into the box; it really was divine,
It could have been goal number four but it was cleared from off the line.

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 Parlour unfortunately clipped the heels of the Blues’ Jarosik,
And just a yard outside the box they had a dangerous free kick,
Pennant curled it beautifully: he hasn’t given up the ghost,
But with Schwarzer beaten all ends up, he struck the outside of the post.

¶ 24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 Viduka now makes way for Job but his display was most inspiring,
He hasn’t played a lot, of late, so it’s likely that he’s tiring,
Almost at the close young Morrison’s hurt and that dictates,
That he immediately leaves the field, to be replaced by Bates.

¶ 25 Leave a comment on verse 25 0 Job had a golden opportunity with Blues outnumbered four to three,
He should have done much better but he failed quite miserably,
Then the referee brought an end to what had been a Boro stroll,
And the Birmingham supporters knew we’d had absolute control.