Football Poets

Boro v Grazer AK (24-02-2005)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The cultural differences might well be really whopping,
Graz has snow-capped mountains and we have Roseberry Topping,
“Herzlich willkommen” to the Riverside, cleared of snow by volunteers,
Then wish them all “Auf Wiedersehen” with defeat ringing in their ears.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The visitors landed safely, although, where at, was long in doubt,
They finally managed Teesside and then they didn’t hang about,
So used to snow are they, that, after a seriously delayed flight,
They trained in all the white stuff and finished with a snowball fight.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 At the same time, Boro fans were battling hard against the elements,
And it’s thanks for all their labours that this game can now commence,
So, get behind the Boro lads, and make it loud and clear,
Raise high aloft those flags and scarves for a magical atmosphere.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 The weather is extremely cold and the surface slippery,
Nevertheless, a Boro win, I really do foresee,
Although a score of nil-nil would equally suffice,
A good win for the Boro would be total paradise.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Graz soon won a free kick because Queudrue’s studs were raised,
But, he rightly claimed he’d won the ball, and he stood there quite amazed,
Bazina’s ball lands in the box with Ehmann waiting eagerly,
But he’d used both hands for leverage and won the ball illegally.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Yet another free kick’s given for a foul upon Bazina,
With Southgate and Ray Parlour both guilty of misdemeanour,
Another great ball was sent in and Mark Schwarzer gave a shout,
But, he really had to get it, for he came a long way out.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 The cat was put among the pigeons when the visitors suddenly scored,
And, it must be said; the Boro’s defending was seriously flawed,
What a mistake by Southgate that left him truly disconcerted,
He knows he got it wrong and that danger could have been averted.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 But, what a strike, one has to say: it really was a beaut,
Laid on a plate by Southgate, though from an angle most acute,
We now have massive problems, for they tore us well apart,
That’s not how the script was written and they’ve upset the applecart.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 This uncertain start for Boro has now became a real nightmare,
It’s time to clear the heads and, maybe, say a little prayer,
And someone must have listened, though certainly not the devil,
When Morrison slammed one in the net to bring the Boro level.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 The ball broke well for Downing and he then, as bold as brass,
Danced around Plassnegger then, was it a shot or pass?
Into the corridor of uncertainty between the goalie and defence,
Then ‘keeper Schranz just parried it and Morrison ended the suspense.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 We had needed to dig awfully deep and that we certainly did,
Courtesy of young Morrison, Boro’s latest Billy the Kid,
It’s once again ‘advantage Boro’ after that very early fright,
Thanks to a bit of magic, Boro are back level on the night.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Aufhauser went into the book for pulling Parlour back,
And this team from Graz in Austria proves a real hard nut to crack,
The free kick came to Zenden, who had a shot but was frustrated,
When he only won a corner as Boro’s collective breath was bated.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 If anyone ever doubted Stewart Downing’s confidence,
Then his first-time, well-struck volley, showed his talent is immense,
He got the ball from Zenden and then drifted inside right,
And, although he missed the target, this young man certainly does excite.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 It was a pretty even first half, with Boro still a decent bet,
But there’s much work to be finished and it isn’t over yet,
After a most disastrous start, which made our Euro hopes diminish,
Thankfully, Morrison retained composure, for a quite instinctive finish.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 ———-

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 Jimmy starts up-front alone, to pressurise and probe,
When Parnaby and Doriva replace Morrison and Job,
These moves are not too popular and are greeted with loud boos,
If McClaren’s wrong I wouldn’t like to be standing in his shoes.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 Morrison’s place, right from the start, had been undoubtedly well earned,
So, do these changes indicate that the Boro boss is concerned?
And what on earth will happen if the visitors score again,
Then go on to final victory: will the manager then explain?

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 The Boro’s slight advantage is really painfully thin,
And adrenaline-charged Ray Parlour then comes really flying in,
Assisted by Chris Riggott, as if it’s war they’re waging,
Leaving Pogatetz prostrate on the turf and positively raging.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 These are difficult times for Boro and we’re dropping ever deeper,
And not a single shot this half has been fired at their ‘keeper,
Then Pogatetz makes a wondrous cross, though no one was enticed,
But Boro fans are left wondering; just what have we sacrificed?

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 Then, just on the hour mark, are the Boro out of the woods?
When up turns J.F. Hasselbaink and he produced the goods,
He rolled his man and quickly turned; and then, sure as eggs is eggs,
He did what he’s being paid to do; right through the ‘keeper’s legs.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 Boro won a free kick when Stew Downing’s run was hampered,
And quickly up, towards their goal, our captain, Southgate, scampered,
The delivery was quite perfect and the contact made was good,
But Gareth could have done better and I feel he knew he should.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 Lehmann has a darker side that lies within him, latent,
And this was shown by a challenge that was really wild and blatant,
He earned himself a yellow but young Downing’s quite a toughie,
And he might well prove as popular as another ‘hero,’ Cloughie.

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 Dollinger’s now on the field as the visitors make a switch,
And the player he’s replacing goes by the name of Majstovic,
Then Parlour had a shot, only to see it ricochet,
And it bounced just right for Downing, but it was not to be his day.

¶ 24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 Doriva was magnificent but then became a little rash,
And the ref. produced a yellow, quick as the proverbial flash,
Schwarzer dropped the free kick but then got a second chance,
But no one anticipated when it needed just a glance.

¶ 25 Leave a comment on verse 25 0 Downing’s down and injured and a stretcher’s quickly called,
And he’s carried off: to huge acclaim: by a crowd that he’s enthralled,
Nail-biting minutes lie ahead as Nemeth takes the field,
Let’s hope the lads can hold out now and pray that they don’t yield.

¶ 26 Leave a comment on verse 26 0 In the end, we finally won, but made it such hard work,
But, had McClaren got it wrong, we’d all have gone berserk,
The second half, to be truthful, only had the one bright spark,
And that was Jimmy’s goal, which brings that huge leap in the dark.

¶ 27 Leave a comment on verse 27 0 We had defended really well but we’d also huffed and puffed,
But a 4-3 win for Boro means that we’re all really chuffed,
Knowing we’ve reached the last sixteen is, really, very nice,
But, if Downing’s injury’s serious, then we must say, “At what price?”

¶ 28 Leave a comment on verse 28 0 It’s said the Grazer boss accused the Boro of arrogance,
But, on the night we proved the better, to continue this romance,
Next up it’s Sporting Lisbon so, a trip to warmer climes,
And long may they continue, these most wonderful Boro times.

¶ 29 Leave a comment on verse 29 0 Although we realise that now the going gets really tough,
Fans will travel in their hundreds, for they just can’t get enough,
So now get out your diary and then clearly mark the date,
UEFA CUP: the last sixteen: now doesn’t that sound just great?