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Cliché – Dare Say

S B Ingle

Monday, November 13th, 2006

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Commentators need to update
their cliched blarney, random talk
outdated terms still used
they would call a spade a fork

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “the shot has hit the woodwork”
posts made from metal trees
they talk close shaves and splinters
chipboard calamities

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 The goalmouth structure has changed
posts and bar of aluminium
“hit the woodwork” not strictly true
roll out the red linoleum

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 midfielders with “good engines”
that’s one cliche that’s so wrong
they plug away but have no spark
I think the big end’s gone

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 defenders built like garden sheds?
ours are like delphiniums
they get beat by pacy attack
a force one gale required – minimum

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 new words enter the language
but well into this millennium
pundits and football management
cling to clichés ad nauseum

© S B Ingle 11.11.06

Notes

Our new manager was “pig sick” after a recent 5-0 debacle. Peter Grunt, ex-Celtic is feeding at the trough of manager-speak already.

As for goalposts, it is some time since they were “woodwork” – though I suppose the phrase “hit the woodwork” is one of the few remaining traditions of our game.

(Real football fans know that goalposts are actually made from jumpers)

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/cliche-dare-say/