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Down among the Dead Men

Denys E. W. Jones

Friday, March 11th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Life ain’t no bed of roses, it’s uphill all the way,
The path is rarely smooth and often rough.
But if you think you’ve had a raw deal,
And you find this life an ordeal,
Pray, pause a while and spare a thought for us…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 We’re Down among the Dead Men,
We’re Bottom of the League,
Played twenty, lost fifteen, drawn five, won nil.
We’ve a thirty-eight-man Squad,
We’ve a Gaffer thinks he’s God,
And our “Target Man”’s distinctly o’er the hill!

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Gaffer says he ain’t no quitter,
“Target Man”’s just missed a sitter,
That wretched ball, it simply won’t go in!
We can sense the fans’ dismay at our piss-poor style of play,
Twenty games gone and we ain’t notched up a win.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 We’re Down among the Dead Men,
We’re Bottom of the League,
We haven’t scored a single goal in ages.
We’ve been dumped out of the Cup,
TV cash has all dried up,
And it’s six months since we last received our wages.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Boardroom’s rife with plots and schemes,
Chairman wants to sell the Team,
Or at least a large percentage of his shares.
Gaffer’s sacked! No, he resigned, ‘cos the Press were so unkind,
Though at this point doubt if anybody cares…

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 We’re Down among the Dead Men,
We’re Bottom of the League,
A Sinking Ship, Lost Cause, we’re down the pan.
We’ve been fined for taking dope,
We’ve lost ev’ry shred of hope,
And our “Target Man” gets death-threats from the fans.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 We are City, we’re United, we are Rovers, Albion, Town,
We are Wand’rers, we’re Athletic, take your pick.
Any team you care to name,
Ever played this goddam game,
But there’s one thing that we know: we’re in Deep Shit!

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 ‘Cos we’re Down among the Dead Men,
We’re Bottom of the League,
And it looks like there’s no chance we’ll ‘scape the Drop.
We’re a-propping up the Table,
For to win we’re quite unable,
And just think, this time last season we were Top …

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 20/12/02
Denys E. W. Jones

© 13/1/04

Notes

No new poem this week, the Inspiration having dried up. So, here’s one I wrote earlier, over two years ago, though it has not aged much, I think.
For the structure of this poem I am indebted to a poem by Rudyard Kipling entitled The Undertaker’s Horse.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/down-among-the-dead-men/