Evening Kick-Offs
¶ 1
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My father never watched me play football
so at night I contrived to be both
myself on the pitch and him in the stand –
an early exponent of simulation.
¶ 2
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From up on The Holte the game unfolds
in flooded light; in the wings silhouetted
masses, punctuated by cigarette flashes.
¶ 3
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As I seize upon a loose ball, he’d notice
that possession accrued by chance and not endeavour.
I’m the creative playmaker behind the strikers:
tackling is for the lesser gifted
water-carriers and workers.
¶ 4
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Stifling the echoes of yesterday’s quarrels
I play a quick one-two with an accomplice.
I’m equally accomplished with either foot,
the upshot of solitary childhood pursuits
that ruined the lawn in our back garden.
Through the defence I slalom
with feints and drops of the shoulder;
I’m nearing the penalty area
with only the last man to beat.
¶ 5
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Then the holes appear around my feet,
dark and deep as graves. I put on the brakes,
afraid what they contain, the ball rolls tamely
into the keeper’s arms.
¶ 6
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He used to say I was lacking
in perseverance and focus;
but I replayed this fixture
every night for five years.
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