How to ruin a football club.
¶ 1
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Two years ago I bought this football club
And it was called Newcarsal
Yet I could not tell a magpie
From a metatarsal.
I did not get it on the cheap
I paid quite a hefty price
Then this cockney geezer told me
To get rid of Allardyce.
So I brought back this bloke called Keegan
Then to nobody’s great surprise
I dropped my first big clanger
When I signed up Dennis Wise.
He turned out to be a waste of space
But these things are sent to try us
Things then went from bad to worse
When I hired my mate Llambias.
Old ‘Del boy’ did not have a clue
And knew even less than me
He thought Roque SANTA CRUZ
Was somewhere oversea’s.
He then told me about this old chap
Some ex player called Kinnear
He hasn’t had a job in years
So why dont we bring him here.
After Joe came Alan Shearer
Straight from the B.B.C.
He had Eight games left to save us
But alas it could not be.
So now I’m desperate to flog the place
And It’s going for a song
And you better ask ‘Del boy’ Llambias
Why everything went wrong.
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