Football Poets

Hy Money: First Lady of The Palace

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 “Get this woman out of here,
its now become a farce,
but just to shut her up for good,
give her a touchline pass.”

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Those were the words of old Bert Head
the boss of Crystal Palace,
who despite his weary tone of voice
didn’t hold no malice

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 So Hy Money got her press card
and a spot behind the goal,
photographed the action
and let her camera roll.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Born in colonial India
in a place called Bangalore
Hy knew at an early age
she’d have to leave her native shore

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 With fifteen quid, a suitcase
and a little camera box,
she came ashore in England
at London’s Tilbury Docks.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 She got a job in Croydon
processing photo shots,
married very early
and soon had children in their cots.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 She started taking photos,
family snaps and fashion,
and soon for her, photography
became an all consuming passion

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 T’was for her young sons birthday
I believe his age was eight,
he asked to go to Palace
she thought he meant the Palace Gate.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 But when he told her Selhurst Park
she reluctantly went along,
where she got hooked on the atmosphere,
the chanting and the song.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 HY begged to get a press pass,
to take photos of the games,
but as one hack said sarcastically
“we don’t give them out to Dames.”

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 So she pestered poor Bert Head
and refused to go away,
and once HY had the press card,
she joined the NUJ*

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Now she was a member
of the macho papparazzi
and she became known at Selhurst Park
as the Palace Mammarazzi.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 She was ignored by fellow members
all of whom were males,
but Hy Money wasn’t bothered
she was as tough as nails..

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 She made a glamorous figure
in her leather red and blue,
and she soon became a favourite
of the Crystal Palace crew.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Away fans though made curses
threw staples and gave threats,
but Hy’s camera it stayed focused
from her place beside the nets

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 She snapped Fiona Richmond**
in that famous bathtub pic
and when she stood her ground with Clough
his wounds he had to lick.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 The night of tears in Cardiff,****
City players thought they’d have a laugh,
and they threw HY and her camera
into the players bath.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Despite being soaked and angry,
she didn’t say a word,
the pain was watching Palace,
go down to the Third.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 Her celebrity it grew greater,
with famed sports stars she was pally,
she snapped great shots of Barry Sheen
and the great Muhamed Ali

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 She started shooting movie stars
and all the cast of ‘Dallas’
and she’ll ever more be known
as ‘First Lady of the Palace.’

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 She still goes up the Palace now,
and the crowd give her a cheer,
grand children they come with her
the great lady pioneer.