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Lines on Forest Green Rovers’ Going Vegetarian

Simon Caplan

Wednesday, December 10th, 2014

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 ‘Gloucestershire, Gloucestershire’
The boys from the Green sang loud
As they watched the Nailsworth-based wonders
Do their county proud
But no chance for them or any other to enjoy
A local Old Spot in a Bun
For the Vegan owner had banned all meat products
Which doesn’t sound like fun

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 No burgers or pies, No hot dogs or butties
Nothing with fat, blood or gristle
Just pizza and quiche and perhaps a green veg
And something that tastes like a thistle

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 I watched in amusement as the Newport fans
Queued for something to fill ‘em right up
Their look of bemusement when they found only veg
Was like they’d been knocked out of the Cup
No juicy gravy, no crispy rind –
No chicken, no lamb, beef or pig
The way this was going I’d be surprised
If the next Conference match crowd is as big

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 No burgers or pies, no hot dogs or butties
Nothing with fat, blood or gristle
I’m fed up with this, they’re taking the piss
So ref hurry and blow on the whistle

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 When Wimbledon came, well, you can imagine
Confusion soon turned to menace
They were used to plenty of gristle and muscle
When watching Vinny and Dennis
No meat in our pies, no bacon that fries
Not even a paltry old banger
They chanted and groaned and ranted and moaned
You could sense their South London anger

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 No burgers or pies, no hot dogs or butties
Nothing with fat, blood or gristle
I’ve had enough, I’m going to get tough
er…and send Mr Vince an epistle

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 (and this is it….)

Notes

Mr Vince is the aforesaid vegan owner of Forest Green Rovers. This poem is set in the 2010/2011 season: the meat products ban being introduced by him in February 2011. Newport visited on March 19th and Wimbledon on April 25th.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/lines-on-forest-green-rovers-going-vegetarian/