Football Poets

” MR CHAIRMAN — YOUR’E ‘ AVING A LAUGH.

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 “I’m giving a vote of confidence,
to both you and your staff.”

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 “ OH COME ON MR CHAIRMAN,
YOU MUST BE ‘AVING A LAUGH.”

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 “You’ll have the overwhelming backing,
of myself and all the board,
and if you need some transfer funds,
we’ll make sure we can afford.”

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 “Ha, Ha MR CHAIRMAN,
YOUR’E FIBBING ME – NOT ‘ARF,
COME ON MR CHAIRMAN,
YOU’RE ‘AVING A BLOODY LAUGH.”

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 “I’m looking to the long term,
I don’t expect instant success,
I’ll protect you from the fans rage,
and rumours in the press.
I won’t interfere in team affairs,
I’ll let you – have free reign,
but I’d like if you’d play young Jose,
the kid I signed from Spain.”

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 “HE DIVED FIVE TIMES ON HIS DEBUT,
THEN GOT SENT FOR AN EARLY BATH,
COME ON MR CHAIRMAN,
YOU MUST BE ‘AVING A LAUGH.”

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 “He’s only on 5 grand a week,
which is a lot less doe than Rob,
and you know what it is all about
is trying to save a bob.”

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 “YOUNG ROB HE’LL PLAY FOR ENGLAND,
HE EVEN PLAYED WITH A BUSTED CALF,
COME ON MR CHAIRMAN,
YOUR’E ‘AVING A BLOODY LAUGH”.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 “I think the squad we have right now,
is good enough to keep us up,
and I don’t want you to play the first team,
in that stupid F.A Cup.”

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 “BUT WE COULD GET TO THE FINAL,
AND TO EUROPE IT’S A PATH,
OH COME ON MR CHAIRMAN,
YOU MUST BE ‘ AVING A LAUGH.”

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 “I’m going to look for some investors,
a Russian or a Yank,
I don’t care if they don’t know football,
as long as they’ve money in the bank.”

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 ‘YOU KNOW THE FANS WON’T LIKE IT,
YOU TREAT ‘EM LIKE THEY’RE DAFT,
COME ON MR CHAIRMAN,
YOU’VE GOT TO BE ‘AVING A LAUGH.”

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 “I’m only inter-ested,
in ones who own club stocks,
and the ones who wine and dine,
in my luxury private box.”

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 ” YEAH THE ONES WHO EAT PRAWN COCKTAILS,
AND DRINK WINE INSTEAD OF DRAUGHT,
OH COME ON MR CHAIRMAN,
YOU MUST BE ‘AVING A LAUGH.”

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 “I’ve just changed my mind this moment,
I need a more scientific approach,
so I no longer need your services,
as the manager and coach.
I’ll hire a foreign gentleman,
with an exotic sounding name,
the media will love him,
and his continental game.
He’ll come in — with sexy tactics,
do away with the British graft,
so sod off Mr Manager
while I go and have a laugh. ”

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 “AH BUT MR CHAIRMAN,
REMEMBER THE YEAR WE WENT UP TO THE PREM?
AND YOU TOLD ME AS A MANAGER I WAS A BLOODY GEM.
AS WE BOTH GOT DRUNK OUT OF THE CUP,
IN MY HAND YOU THRUST A PEN,
AND YOU MADE ME SIGN A CONTRACT,
UNTIL MARCH OF 2010.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 SO I’LL MOVE ONTO ANOTHER CLUB,
AND PRACTICE MY FOOTBALL CRAFT,
AND WHILE I CASH MY CHEQUE EACH WEEK,
IT WILL BE ME ‘AVING THE LAUGH.”