‘There Used to be Goals Up in Them There Fields…’
¶ 1
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Where have all the goalscorers gone?
There doesn’t seem too many coming through
The ones who just scored goals for fun
It was the only thing they ever done
I mean the only thing they’d ever do.
¶ 2
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Nowadays, it seems all the rage, to have players who just cover every single blade of grass
Be on the end of every pass
Keep clean sheets & things nice & tidy @ the back
But this is supposed to be an entertainment industry
And entertainment means attack.
¶ 3
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No-one would have asked Jimmy Greaves to tackle back
To be up & down the pitch
You wouldn’t want him to risk a stitch
And anyway, he’d just say ‘Bother these tactics!’
And helped himself to a couple of hat-tricks
And maybe his team would lose 7-6
But what a game.
And didn’t Tottenham do the double this way?
With this very style of play
Both @ home & away?
¶ 4
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And when Liverpool were @ their height
And enjoying unprecedented success
Yes
They could be boring
Hansen to Lawrenson, back to Hansen
Back to Grobelaar.
But then Souness would unleash Dalgleish
Who had the gift of second sight
For Ian Rush
Ian Rush
There’d always be
Ian Rush.
¶ 5
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And alright,
Gary Lineker didn’t win many cups
And he’d be the first to admit
He’d struggle to do 10 keepy-ups.
He famously never got booked
‘Cause it never really looked
Like he’d do anything
Apart from scoring goals
Goals
Both he & his brother
Would probably on the dole
Without Gary’s unerring eye for goal.
Goals
He’d show his marker a tidy pair of heels
Ther’d be goals, up in them there hills
Goals.
¶ 6
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If we’d never had a Gert Muller
Or Karl-Heinz Rumminige
Football would be boring
Like eating a plate of chips
Without a sprinkling of salt
Or a smattering of vineger
¶ 7
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Thierry’s not the norm
That’s why he kicked up such a storm.
¶ 8
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In rugby, they’re scoring points all the time
Not to score any points would be viewed upon as something of a crime.
But to be fair,
Goals should be rare
That’s what makes them so valuable
And those that score them so magical.
¶ 9
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Those that score goals
With their head or either one of their legs.
Are either an obtuse excuse
Or a goose
That lays golden eggs.
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