We Think We’re Bad
¶ 1
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Neanderthals still trawled the earth, their knuckles making tracks,
Foreheads jutting forwards, and soft hair all down their backs.
They’d settle down in draughty caves, the firelight burning bright
To ward away the hungriest of creatures through the night.
They drew such crappy pictures of wild buffalo and horses,
Though in their day, they didn’t have such things as fine-art courses.
They fashioned weapons crudely from sharp rocks and bits of wood,
And ran around with nothing on, for God saw it was good.
The ice-age had not separated Angleterre from France,
So hardy continentals headed northwards without pants.
The mammoth and the sabre-tooth, the tiger and the bear
Were chased across the countryside or followed to their lair.
Yes, Man was only in the early stages of control,
The last time Northern Ireland scored an international goal
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