Football Poets

West Ham v Boro (23-10-2005)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 West Ham are now above us, but just by a fraction,
We’re here, in London Town, to resume domestic action,
Support is quite terrific and real hopes abound,
With “Bubbles Forever Blowing,” throughout the Hammers’ ground.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Ferdinand’s needless free kick leads one speedily to sense,
That some of West Ham’s players take big chances in defence,
Each Rochemback kick was wasted though Boro pressure now increases,
It’s probably about time that someone else took set pieces.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Maccarone missed a header when he should have done much better,
As he met a truly great ball in from the feet of Mendieta,
He got between his markers when he was only six yards out,
But the header was a duffer and consequently came to nowt.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Benayoun passed several Boro men as if they were not there,
Then a classic block by Riggott thankfully beat him fair and square,
The shot was then deflected: Riggott’s block was copybook,
But Boro were somewhat lucky to somehow struggle of the hook.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Audacious skill by Benayoun, well-nigh produced a scorer,
Then a sitter’s missed as well by the hosts’ Bobby Zamora,
With the Hammers well on top, any Boro threat had faded,
And dare I say that Boateng is looking rather jaded?

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Captain Southgate’s injured and he’s looking ashen-faced,
Queudrue’s warming up and Gareth’s instantly replaced,
That’s the last thing Boro needed and the blow is really massive,
Although Steve McClaren’s sitting there, looking totally impassive.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 West Ham missed several chances and they may have some regrets,
They are carving Boro open, with Benayoun causing the threats,
He’s by far the greatest danger and he’s working like a beaver,
Then a foul outside the box means a yellow for Doriva.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Then came a real chance for the Hammers and the home fans roared,
When Mullins missed a sitter and he really should have scored,
He ‘collapsed’ to the ground and he simply held his head,
And the Boro, to be honest, are now hanging by a thread.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 We’re being ripped wide open and I really am afraid,
Then the referee came to the struggling Boro’s aid,
Harewood had netted and our heads looked bowed,
But the linesman had flagged so the ‘goal’ is disallowed.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 With half-time approaching and a lot of nail-biting,
Zamora got a cross in that was most inviting,
But the goal wouldn’t come for which the Hammers yearned,
For Riggott was outstanding and the chance was spurned.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Generally, the Boro have been uninspired and scrappy,
And Steve McClaren, I’d imagine, won’t be awfully happy,
Though the Hammers have controlled the game, we haven’t yet conceded,
But, no doubt, in the second half more discipline is needed.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 ———-

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 The home fans, all dressed up in their claret and blue,
Now urge on their favourites to tighten up the screw,
But the Boro started brightly and Yakubu’s very brave,
But, in the end, Shaka Hislop made a comfortable save.

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 Mendi tried to block a cross but dismally did fail,
And once more Hammers’ shooting got the Boro out of jail,
Schwarzer had been spotted standing so far off his line,
And Boro just survived: more by good fortune than design.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Etherington’s still proving to be a thorn in Boro’s side,
And he sent across a glorious ball, which Ferdinand put wide,
Every player missed it and nil-nil’s so unbelievable,
Let’s hope it stays that way for this game remains retrievable.

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 Boro have big problems, but what can be the best solution?
Maccarone’s taken off and Jimmy Floyd’s the substitution,
But, can the ‘Hero of Zurich’ once more save the Boro’s cause?
As his playing partner leaves the field to most generous applause.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 Within a couple of minutes of Jimmy Floyd’s appearance,
French Franck saved the Boro’s day with a great last-minute clearance,
He got us off the hook and kept a point still in the bank,
And grateful Boro fans shout in unison, “Well done Franck.”

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 But Hammers crank things up and they take off young Zamora,
And bring on Teddy Sheringham, renowned as a goal scorer,
He may be thirty-nine but he’s still an inspiration,
And one feels that, for the Boro, there’s no time for relaxation.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 With the Hammers playing great stuff, with much passion and with verve,
Sheringham gives to them a lead, and one that they deserve,
Now Boro have a massive task to retain the ship on ‘steady,’
And it needs no words from me to say that they were stunned by Teddy.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 From nearly on the bye-line came a great ball in from Mendi,
But Shaka put it over: it was dangerous and bendy,
Pogatetz then tried a snapshot but it really lacked conviction,
Then came an ugly moment and not a small amount of friction.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 Koncheski took a free kick: it was a really good delivery,
It found Boro once more sleeping in: more than a little quivery,
Schwarzer made a great save and then things got somewhat curious,
The linesman signalled ‘goal,’ and left McClaren, rightly, furious.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 TV clearly showed us that the officials got it wrong,
And the protests from the Boro lads continued loud and long,
A suggestion’s quickly made the linesman, now, should be demoted,
Boateng protested vehemently and his name was finally noted.

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 There were then the usual calls for the use of technology,
I must say that I’m in favour and I make no apology,
But we should remember Zurich when I heard no Boro shouts,
A valid goal was ruled out: it’s just swings and roundabouts.

¶ 24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 Queudrue scored late in the game but it was little consolation,
For Hammers had, throughout the match almost total domination,
In the end it must be added that justice was finally served,
For a point earned by the Boro would certainly not have been deserved.