Football Poets

Transfer window

Ah, the transfer window
Of opportunity
What a stunning panorama
But this is no stained glass
Window with clear views
Stretching for mile on mile
Nor of the French variety
It’s the transfer window
Where football gazes
Greedily over materialistic vistas
Rumours have given birth
To tittle tattle,
We’re closing in again
And of course we’re in advanced talks
Because football never goes back
To its Edwardian or Victorian age
More’s the pity
Since over a hundred years ago
Footballers were humble, grateful
Content with their social standing
The mere pittance from the pits
And mining collieries from its
Northern origins
When six or seven pounds
A week was the absolute norm
No grasping, grabbing mercenaries
When the 20th century was but
A whisper in the dusty corridors
Of FA headquarters
But now we’re days
Away from the shut up sign
On the transfer window
Be sure to oil the hinges
Before it closes again
Reluctantly and grudgingly
Because Chelsea have signed
Morgan Rogers from Villa
For £117 million,
Manchester City have nabbed
Elliot Anderson from the
Forest’s latest generation
Cloughie would have been horrified
Anderson signs for City for
Criminal amounts and millions
And millions of pounds
What a vile obscenity
A footballing abomination
While those in Africa
Are tragically resigned
To famine and starvation
As Sando Tonali bathes
In the luxurious waters
Of £116 million,
Unforgivable sins
How can humanity
Hold its head
Up high
The morally shameful age
But who are Spurs to complain?
They’ll take the money and run
While former Hammer
Mateus Fernandes sticks his
Nose in the trough
Cash registers ring
That’ll be £99 million
Or was it £85 million?
The Bank of England
Now convulsed with laughter
Agonising avarice
Keep spending those vast sums
Of loot and lucre
Abba had their
Finger on the pulse
Money, money, money
But maybe not funny
In this giddy, cashless world
You can keep the change
It really doesn’t matter
The damage has been done
Collateral, quite possibly
Oh for the days when
Tom Finney plied his trade
As the Preston plumber
For tuppence ha’penny
A tanner at times
But Tom never objected
Or squabbled with the
Chairman or manager
No grievances at all
Now Andry Santos goes
For £48 million
Is that all?
He says sarcastically
Just a drop in the ocean
For Manchester United
And Youri Tielemans
Midfield architect
And highly valued stonemason
Another rebuilding block
For Michael Carrick’s men
Tielemans is just a
Drop in the ocean
At £41 million
While Liverpool swim
In the lively seas
Of £60 million for
Jeremy Jacquet and
£34.5 million for
Victor Munoz
What on earth
Would Bill Shankly
And Bob Paisley have
Ever thought of it
Of this ridiculous fairground
Of billions bouncing
Through the hands of Saudi
owners, Americans
With big, business plans
Partnerships and investments
Multi million dollar signs
But as the transfer window
Draws to its close
Please stop this madness
Before we lose
All reason and perspective
Shut that window now

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