Football Poets

Watching England v Paint Drying in The Euros

what is it about us
how do we ever cope
all that expectation
all that inner hope?
and how come ev’ry single time
we watch as nations rise
from previous obscurity
to stars before our eyes?
but sometimes watching England
you start to wonder why
it’s almost as exciting as
just watching paint dry

why do we always sense it
that ‘here we go again’
the constantly comparing thing
“we’re not as good as them” ?
the hype and vibe before it starts
each tournament we’re in
euphoria to deep despair
the moment we begin
and even if we keep clean sheets
or if we top our group
it doesn’t matter what we do
but ‘just stay in the loop’
it’s all about results they say
it’s all about defence
who cares about attacking
it’s really common sense

who’ gives a jot for quality
exciting play or style ?
a coat of sage emulsion’s
far better by a mile
it’s clearly more rewarding
than England on TV
your laptop or your smart phone
when you could rather be
just brushing on in gentle strokes
with sweeping moves and care
something that with England
we rarely see out there

perhaps I’m being cruel
or too long in the tooth
to finally accept at last
the blatant glaring truth
that even though our brand new kit
is always fascinating
there’s nothing in this world I know
as nice as decorating

and you can call me negative
in phone ins and the press
but why we follow England
is anybody’s guess
and still you have to ask yourself
and start to wonder why
we watch them when it’s better..
just watching paint dry?

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