1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Here comes Tubby Jones
Bringing out the cones.
‘Will Tubby be playing today?’ His mother said.
‘It all depends on how much he’s been fed!’

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I felt such a nit,
When I told her he wasn’t fit.
‘I would love to play him in a game,
If the other lads didn’t hold him to blame.’

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 ‘He stands still on the spot,
When he could of had a shot.’
Poor Tubby Jones does his best,
But he can’t run like all the rest.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 ‘You must play him’ says Mrs Jones,
‘If you don’t his father moans!’
‘Oh Mrs Jones why do you feed him so?
If you want him to make it as a pro.’

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 ‘I’d love to put him in a team,
You probably think me ever so mean,
But I have to be fair to the other lads,
Who run and run like their dads.’

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 ‘You need to help your son get fit,
Encourage him to run not sit,
Vegatables and salads are what he needs,
Instead of all those massive feeds.’

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 ‘If you love your Tubby so
And want him in the team to show.
Please listen to what I say,
And he should be playing by next May!


As someone who has Managed children’s football teams for years, I know the pressure placed on managers by parents who think their son should be playing centre forward even though he is not good enough to make the sub bench. It is always difficult to be fair to all boys and everyone should be made welome to training sessions and given the same opportunity to improve. However, in my experience at managing successful juniour teams, when it comes to selecting the team, you have to choose the best lad for each position irrespective of who the parents are and the pressure they place on you to see their boy as centre forward!
This poem was first published in Aston Clinton’s Anthology of football poems, Poetry in Motion Football! Football! Football! Pubished Nov 98 by Simon Icke.

Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/please-play-tubby-jones/