Diego dribbled up to heaven
Where he met Saint Peter at the gate.
who looked at his credentials
And said “give me a minute mate.”
He then came back from God’s room
Saying, “I’m sorry but you’re banned
God said one time you borrowed
But did not return his hand.
So you’ll do some time in purgatory
Where you’ll repent with other sinners
And you won’t be allowed in heaven
Until England are World Cup winners.”