Football Poets

The girls have done it again

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Yes they’re once, twice
If not quite three times
A lady
Twice though will suffice
For now
The English girls do it again
Can you believe it?
Euro champions again
Gasps of jubilation
Let’s do the Hokey Cokey
Around Eros, Nelson’s Column
Waltzing around the Wurlitzer
In the timeless splendour
Of Blackpool’s seaside raptures
England girls, ladies
Forget those disgraceful
Sexist cliches
No longer the weaker
You’ve won the Euros
Again, it really doesn’t
Get any better
Men, you can come out
From behind the sofa
Cowering in shame
Equality confirmed
And last the Spanish
Senoritas
Are given a taste of
Their own sangria
And yet what a painful struggle
For the Lionesses
Never in the game
If truth be told
Second best
Spain capture their prey
From so early on
Passes like pearls of
Wisdom, tika taka
The complete article
Spain, like heavenly angels
Who blessed the Swiss earth
Rather like their male
Counterparts,
Quick, sharp one twos
Circular, triangular
Short and sweet feet
And stunning staccato
A mirror image of the
Men folk who now
Have both World Cups and
Euro trophies
In their portfolio
Now the ladies take
The ultimate, grand stage
Printing their
Measured football
At times and yet
Not quite up to the usual
Standards of excellence
But let us pretend
Of course it was
Another Lionesses masterclass
If not quite
The one we were hoping for
Tapping morse code out
Across the wide acres
Of fresh green Swiss grass
Spain take the reins
The female matadors exclaim
Ole, Ole, Ole,
It looked to be their night
Of Una Paloma Blanca
Shuffling the ball
Among themselves
In quiet conspiracies
A mystical collusion
Of arts and crafts
It’s what we’ve come to expect
Spain take the lead inevitably
Heads they win
But then slowly but surely
The womanly wiles and guiles
Of Sarina’s England
Take back the conductor’s baton,
Leah, Beth, Lucy, Alex and
Then the gracious Chloe Kelly
Deliver their bumper crop of
Blonde pig tails and the
Crucial equaliser
Just when it mattered
When hope seemed to be
Seeping out of tiring souls
Leaning back in the Spanish
Six yard box
And twisting her header
Into the back of the onion bag
Chloe Kelly, you’re a
Diamond lady
And finally it was penalties
Rather like the National Anthem
For both the girls and boys
How many more times
Do we have to repeat it?
That noisome narrative
It’s almost in every
Nail biting moment in
English football’s
Horrific and yet terrific history
This time the girls
Got it right after
The debacle of Sweden
Where penalties almost
Landed in Zurich banks
Sweden miss, England miss
The ball that is
Sweden score, England score
Oh it was all so frightening
And unbearable
For a moment we were in
The English territory of
World Cup Italia 9O
Sir Bobby’s buoyant blokes
Waddle and Pearce
Blast their penalties into
Roman allotment sites
Then Euro 96 when El Tel’s
Tenacious terriers
Fall at the last hurdle
And Sir Gareth Southgate
Wearily walks into the world
Of satire, lampoon and pizzas
Penalty driven straight into
German goalkeeper’s torso
And so to last night
The girls show us how to do
It and the men will turn
Away in utter embarrassment
Next year Thomas Tuchel
Please, please bring it home
World champions
Is it too much to ask?
Anyway let’s bask in the
Glow of the Lionesses
Drinking in the champagne
Moment of European champions
Chloe drills the ball
Home from the penalty spot
England, two consecutive
Victories and champs again
Oh it has happened
We knew they could do it.

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