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Football Limericks XI

Jools Hampton

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 – A Young Man from United

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 There was a young man from United
Who was extremely short sighted
With clinical control
He scored an own goal
This made the City fans ever so delighted!

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 – A Boy from Brazil

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 There once was a boy from Brazil
Who was born with such incredible skill
He moved back and forth
With a team from the north
And now he’s in bed with a chill

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 – William “Fatty” Foulke*

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 There once was a keeper named Foulke
Who was a Blade of unbelievable bulk
At away ties
He ate all the pies
And turned into the incredible hulk

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 – A Lad on the Mersey

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 There once was a lad on the Mersey
Who wore a red coloured jersey
His wife Sally Ann
Was an Everton fan
And his son was a sheer act of mercy

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 – The American Way

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 There was a southpaw from L.A
Who played kick ball in the U S of A
From the top of the D
He struck the upper ninety
That’s soccer, the American way!

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 – A Fan of West Ham

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 There once was a fan of West Ham
Who failed an English exam
At spelling bees
He mixed a, b and c’s
And now he fervently follows Wrexham

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 – A Right Back

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 There once was a right back from way back
Who would whack an attacker and quack
“Every striker that comes through
I will make black and blue”
Then he broke both his legs with a crack

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 – Coventry City ‘87

16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 There was a team of Coventry
Who won the cup at Wembley
With Houchy’s divin’ header
And captained by Killer
And a little help from Gary Mabbut’s knee

17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 – North East Matrimony

18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 There once was a Geordie Casanova
And a Sunderland lass named Lola
On the night that they wed
They took broadsheets to bed
Now their children are black, white and red all over!

19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 – A Footballing Acrobat

20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 There once was a footballing acrobat
Who had the grace and agility of a cat
When entering the box
As sly as a fox
He would summersault and land on his back

21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 – Bobby Moore

22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 There once was a legend named Moore
Who was the finest of English football
They lifted him up
When we won the cup
For Bobby’s the greatest of them all!

Notes

*William “Fatty” Foulke played for Sheffield United from 1894 to1905.

He weighed 24 stone (150 kg) and was 6ft 4 in.

He was a true football character and very temperamental. The chant “Who ate all the pies?” is thought to have been originally about him!

Editor’s note:

He famously played for Chelsea too!

But of course the Limerick is referring to his time in Sheffield.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/football-limericks-xi/