Football Poets

Bolton W. v Boro (12-02-2005)

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 It’s a very chilly Reebok but the Wanderers are hot,
Just having won their seven previous fixtures on the trot,
The Boro will need to work hard so that figure’s not extended,
Though they’re ravaged by serious injuries and have other key men suspended.

¶ 2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Seeking our first Reebok win, one thing’s certainly required,
The performance of the Boro lads will need to be inspired,
So, if we start off positive and the attitude is right,
We just might give the Wanderers a truly massive fright.

¶ 3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Within less than two minutes we had the chance to break the ice,
And go a goal ahead against the Wanderers and Allardyce,
Schwarzer’s ball found Joseph Job, who then left us feeling bitter,
When he totally missed the goal with what should have been a sitter.

¶ 4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Campbell almost scored an own goal that was really quite bizarre,
When he sliced it narrowly wide just as the goal was left ajar,
Morrison’s contribution was so brilliantly engineered,
But the corner that resulted was eventually cleared.

¶ 5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Downing led a charge on goal and picked out Hasselbaink,
Who interchanged with Joseph Job then fired another blank,
Without any hesitation he launched a drive at Jaaskelainen,
But he was very well positioned, although the save was still a fine ‘n.

¶ 6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Boro did well to survive when the ball was cleverly stolen,
And the goal-frame was left shuddering from a strike by Kevin Nolan,
Schwarzer’s slight deflection sent a tingle down the spine,
Then followed a quite remarkable stop, from Davies, on the line.

¶ 7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Jimmy played a great ball right into the path of Reiziger,
Who should have played it square to Job, waiting to pull the trigger,
But “woeful” is the only word for Michael’s failed attempt,
After having missed out on a tap-in, Joseph’s face oozed sheer contempt.

¶ 8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Once more to Boro’s rescue came the Aussie ‘keeper, Schwarzer,
When, through a crowded area, came unseen, a Barness scorcher,
He must have seen it very late but he never gave up the ghost,
And, despite the many bodies, he dived and pushed it ‘round the post.

¶ 9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 The very speedy Gardner left young Parnaby for dead,
Then, a great ball to Okocha, he beautifully did thread,
His mishit shot found Campo, who quickly took it in his stride,
But he was halted in his tracks when the linesman flagged offside.

¶ 10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Queudrue gives away a corner and we’re somewhat on the rack,
The deflection saved the day and the skipper slapped him on the back,
Though we slept in for the corner we somehow kept our hopes alive,
For, with great determination, we once more managed to survive.

¶ 11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 With the rain now driving down and the swirling wind increasing,
Pressure on the Boro lads is constantly increasing,
But we’d created opportunities and some looked like bearing fruit,
So, just keep working as a team, lads, for there is no substitute.

¶ 12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 All in all a decent half: we started very bright,
And the look on Steve McClaren’s face is one of sheer delight,
Bernie Slaven’s quickly vanished and I hope he’s not accosted,
He says he’s seeking “something hot” and he needs to be defrosted.

¶ 13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 ———-

¶ 14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 The weather is now “perishing” and it’s zero in the shade,
As the players are resuming with, it seems, no changes made,
Campo claimed a foul and a free kick’s then awarded,
And Boro all slept in but the Wanderers weren’t rewarded.

¶ 15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 Gardner’s ball was missed by all and he stood there quite deflated,
And Nolan, aware he should have scored, lay on the turf, frustrated,
Had his toe just had an extra inch it was a tap-in, to be sure,
Now Nolan, after coming close, regrets his most recent pedicure.

¶ 16 Leave a comment on verse 16 0 Stelios is taken off so enter now El Hadji Diouf,
Talented, without a doubt, but of his dark past we’ve had enough,
With a shot that swerved and dipped, Jay-Jay put Schwarzer to the test,
But our man was well positioned and once more left us all impressed.

¶ 17 Leave a comment on verse 17 0 Morrison then did really well and the manager’s overjoyed,
He sprinted in on goal and then he laid it off to Floyd,
Jimmy brought in Joseph Job then quickly went berserk,
When the ball was blasted wide and the ‘keeper didn’t have to work.

¶ 18 Leave a comment on verse 18 0 Gardner’s bursting forward, strong as the proverbial ox,
Then he flashed one right across the goal and well inside the box,
It was perfect for Okocha to put the game beyond all doubt,
But Schwarzer put him off: the ball was scuffed and then went out.

¶ 19 Leave a comment on verse 19 0 Joseph Job’s not wearing his shooting boots today,
So Nemeth gets another run, though much to Job’s dismay,
Could this possibly bring the goal, for which each Boro fan yearns?
For in this game, there’s plenty time, for lots more twists and turns.

¶ 20 Leave a comment on verse 20 0 “Well done, Stuart Parnaby” as Morrison’s cross he met,
He sent the ball across the goal: by far the closest yet,
Jimmy’s waiting for a tap-in and he came so very near,
But, after one almighty scramble, the ball was finally kicked clear.

¶ 21 Leave a comment on verse 21 0 N’Gotty took a free kick as Kevin Davies dreams of glory,
But the magnificent Chris Riggott had in mind a different story,
As Davies, only five yards out, prepared himself to shoot,
Chris Riggott blocked amazingly and took it off his boot.

¶ 22 Leave a comment on verse 22 0 As Diouf skipped between two Boro men, Queudrue showed such great strength,
To win the ball for Boro and keep Diouf once more at full arm’s length,
The ball was cleverly shielded as the Frenchman showed great skill,
So another attack was snuffed out and the score remains nil-nil.

¶ 23 Leave a comment on verse 23 0 Campo gives way to Vaz Te as the Wanderers hemmed us in,
But a determined Boro rearguard maintained magnificent discipline,
And, in the dying minutes, as the play got ever brisker,
An effort by Gary Speed skimmed wide by just the merest whisker.

¶ 24 Leave a comment on verse 24 0 Almost at the death I thought that Jimmy Floyd had done it,
When Nemeth played a classy ball and Hasselbaink then won it,
Despite the tightest angle, Jimmy struck is really sweet,
But Jaaskelainen swooped so bravely and saved it at his feet.

¶ 25 Leave a comment on verse 25 0 It’s now right on 90 minutes and Diouf lays one on a plate,
As the call “Come on the Boro” once more starts to resonate,
And Okocha thought he’d finally found the difficult way through,
But the brilliant Mark Schwarzer was able once more to subdue.

¶ 26 Leave a comment on verse 26 0 Morrison was shown yellow when he went in rather late,
Then came a match-saving challenge by the one and only Southgate,
And, as Bernie’s feeling frozen stiff, in every single joint,
A good all-round performance won a quite terrific point.

¶ 27 Leave a comment on verse 27 0 Schwarzer made a string of saves, some of which were simply stunning,
And Boro remain in sixth place so we’re still there, in the running,
Poor Bernie’s frozen to the core but he’s really been quite spunky,
When the whistle blows he’s counting: one thinks now of brass and monkey.

¶ 28 Leave a comment on verse 28 0 Now let us pay a tribute, in a season long and twisty,
To the Premiership’s unluckiest player, and I do mean Malcolm Christie,
After several broken bones his belief has never once diminished,
So we wish him well and fervently hope his career is not now finished.

¶ 29 Leave a comment on verse 29 0 Thursday we’re off to Austria and the lovely town of Graz,
Where it’s said to be much colder, so take along your thermal hats,
And Bernie, if you’re out there and don’t want to end up frozen,
Take along your warmest long johns to wear beneath the Lederhosen.