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World Cup 2006 Day Ten

Peter Goulding

Sunday, June 18th, 2006

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Croatia 0 Japan 0

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Am I feeling nauseous?
Is my forehead hot and red?
Did you notice that I gave a little shiver?
I know I’m being cautious,
But I think I’ll go to bed,
In case of an infection of the liver.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 My wife is very nervous,
And a worried frown is worn.
She always senses trouble in her man.
For it’s hardly normal service
When I said I’d mow the lawn
And not turn on Croatia and Japan.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Brazil 2 Australia 0

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Ronaldo has got a weight problem,
The attention is driving him batty.
He’s finding it hard
Being called “Tub of Lard,”
On top of “Hey Sumo!” and “Fatty.”

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 He claims he’s as sharp as a toothpick,
Performance suggests that’s not true.
And even on telly,
They point at his belly,
And ask him, how long till its due.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 When finally the coach calls his number,
The teeth pretty naturally clench.
But pity the guy
Who gets flung four feet high,
When Ronaldo sits down on the bench.

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 France 1 South Korea 1

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 They say that the French
Don’t have much on the bench,
That the team is too old and too wrinkled.
Their eyesight is fading,
Arthritis pervading,
And wintergreen liberally sprinkled.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Their hair, which is thinning
Is slowly beginning
To turn a unique shade of grey
And the hair up their noses
Is trimmed, one supposes,
At least several times every day.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 For each plays the game
With an old zimmer frame,
Though some use a stick to help balance.
And their bodies are creaking,
And pacemakrs shrieking
Despite their incredible talents.

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Those warriors of old,
Once so fearsome and bold,
Are now rendered feeble and toothless.
Domenech needs to mull
O’er the option to cull –
And should be quite brutal and ruthless

© Peter Goulding 18th June 2006

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/world-cup-2006-day-ten/