Football Poets

A Premier League Poem 2013/2014

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The Premier League what can we say,
You’ve brought us joy from August to May,
Tears, laughs and goals by the barrel,
Suarez to Toure and of course Andy Carroll,
New blood arrived in red not blue,
Mr. Tan had us asking Cardiff is that you?,
Palace came hoping to bolster their attack,
But all they could find was Marouane Chamakh,
City spent big on players west and east,
Navas, Jovetic and some bloke they called the beast,
Plenty thought that sacking Mancini was silly,
As his replacement was some engineer from Chile,
The special one was back in town,
Did his time away leave him impaired?,
‘Call me the quiet one’ he declared,
Another summer for a hopeful Gunner,
Weeks passed without a signing thrill,
Patience is a virtue,
Welcome to England Mesut Ozil,
Spurs lost their gem to Madrid he set sail,
The world most expensive player was Welsh,
Farewell Gareth Bale,
Martinez stepped off the Wigan roller-coaster ride,
A spanish flair had arrived on Merseyside,
And not forgetting a certain Scot,
He came, he conquered, he wont the lot,
The end of an era must lead to a start,
Would David Moyes win Old Trafford’s heart?,
August arrived and it could all begin,
Liverpool won three on the bounce,
1-0, 1-0, 1-0,
A win is a win,
It was inevitable that Moyes would start with aplomb,
After all, he was the chosen one,
Jose rode into Manchester hoping he could nick it,
Thanks for 90 minutes il never get back,
The boys in Blue all bought a bus ticket,
Man City’s early running was given a flat tyre,
Cardiff triumphed as City burned in a sizzling Welsh fire,
The Saints had English blood in their core,
Lambert, Rodriguez, Lallana and Shaw,
Sunderland struggled a decision was swift,
Di Canio slid on his knees out the back door,
Shelvey got carried away for his new side,
Two glaring mistakes,
But a goal and assist to regain some pride,
In the derby Manuel gained early ground,
Disgruntled United fans would become a familiar sound,
Ramsey was red hot as Arsenal were soaring,
While up at Newcastle it was anything but boring,
The Hammers thrashed Spurs by nil to three,
A win so special they released a DVD,
Kasami volleyed a wonder goal,
Surely it could not be topped,
Wilshire had something to say about that,
While at United Felliani flopped,
Down at the Cottage Jol’s days were numbered,
Norwich shipped 7 as their back four slumbered,
Suarez quickly put all before him to shame,
He led the scoring charts despite returning in the sixth game,
West Brom led at the Bridge with 10 minutes to survive,
They would have won too if it weren’t for a Ramires dive,
Holloway failed to put Palace on the map,
In came Pulis, who i’m sure goes to bed wearing a baseball cap,
Poyet was the new man through Sunderland’s revolving door,
He picked up the club with a derby win,
As well as Phil Bardsley from the casino floor,
Robin scored a winner which caused a big debate,
Sorry Wenger and Gunners fans i’m going to celebrate,
Hull were going smoothly as we approached December,
Everton and Liverpool thank you,
For a derby that we will remember,
United lost at home again as Moyes’ created history,
The whereabouts of Ricky Van Wolfswinkel,
That still remains a mystery,
AVB and Jol got the chop they were anything but adored,
We were treated to a Christmas miracle,
Nicklas Bendtner and Jon Flanagan scored,
The bus parked up at the Emirates,
It was defence over attack,
Thanks again Jose for another 90 minutes i’l never get back,
Boxing day saw Malkay’s final goodbye,
On the same day the toon hit five past Stoke,
While Sunderland’s win at Goodison all caught our eye,
Rene failed to read the sign; ‘Tigers beware’,
Six goals and finally Huddlestone could cut his hair,
Anelka was sent packing thanks to his quenelle,
The Hawthorns said tara to Clarke and hola to Pepe Mel,
Arsenal led the way going into 2014,
Wenger’s men were purring like a well oiled machine,
Adam Johnson scored a hat-trick an English moment of pride,
Tiote scored a thunderbolt,
Oh hang on its actually off-side,
A strange decision that had an outcry of compassion,
Cardiff’s new boss was the baby faced assassin,
Despite his old age,
Against United Eto’o thrived,
A new star was needed,
Juan Mata soon arrived,
Players were signed and some departed,
In the second merseryside derby Martinez was outsmarted,
Mourinho was frustrated it was clear for all to see,
0-0 at home to West Ham,
A team that used tactics from the 19 century,
A midlands derby that had it all,
As West Brom made the short trip to Villa,
Despite scoring three times,
They lost out in a seven goal thriller,
Adam hit the winner against United with a shot that dipped and curled,
At least hes got a good left foot,
He’s not the best looking bloke in the world,
Kolo gifted the Baggies a point, his square pass was thoughtless,
Chelsea left the bus at home as they conquered City’s fortress,
All change down at Swansea where Laudrup’s ship had sunk,
The Dane was sent packing,
They replaced him with a Monk,
Arsenal collapsed at Anfield,
Cardiff’s fate was looking sealed,
Barkley proved hes not just the next gazza,
300,000 grand a week for Rooney,
Sign on the dotted line please Wazza,
Newcastle thrashed Hull to leave Bruce in a rut,
But the game was overshadowed by a Pardew headbutt,
Make us dream sang the Kopites at Old Trafford,
Gerrard missed a penalty,
But he scored another 2 so the miss never mattered,
Wenger witnessed another shambles this time a 6-0 loss,
Fulham decided the key to survival was hiring another boss,
The weekend of March 22nd one strike short of the record,
A thrilling two days of action as 43 goals were scored,
‘Wrong One Moyes Out’ a plane over Manchester flew,
West Brom took the lead in injury time against Cardiff,
But somehow only drew,
The title was up in the air no team was always prominent,
Arsenals challenge was fading,
City and Liverpool became dominant,
A blip on Jose’s record as the Eagles beat the little horse,
Pulis’ transformed Palace into a true top flight force,
Roberto’s men blew the Gunners away,
Champions League football if they could hold 4th till May,
The Black Cats were mauled by a Spurs Alasation,
Sherwood’s men showed no mercy,
Gus asked for a miracle to avoid certain relegation,
A stuffing for Newcastle as Mata showed why he was bought,
Rodriguez got injured and would miss Brasil,
Not the fairytale ending he had sought,
Merseyside streets were painted Red as City were in town,
The biggest game of the season did not let us down,
3-2 it finished as Liverpool took a firm grip,
An emotional Gerrard cried to his teammates “This must not slip!”
Lukaku proved again he is the perfect loanee,
Two words why Swansea stayed up,
Wilfired Bony,
Easter Sunday saw no miracles for Moyes,
Ironically it was Everton who would leave him unemployed,
Chelsea lost at home to end Jose’s unbeaten run,
An unlikely hero saved Sunderland,
Connor Wickham was scoring for fun,
Everton self destructed in pursuit of fourth,
Alzcaraz and Coleman own goals,
Giggs went for a suit for his first game in charge,
Alongside his old mates Butt, Neville and Scholes,
Hull pegged back Fulham in a late comeback show,
Shelvey scored from the halfway line,
He’d obviously been watching Xabi Alonso,
Chelsea took two buses to Anfield,
On the day we thought the title would be sealed,
Frustratingly dull but a tactical lesson,
Gerrard’s slip left him needing a psychology session,
City capitalized now at full speed in the race,
Arsenal secured European football,
Sorry Everton they always get fourth place,
We said farewell to Magath and Ole,
Swansea v Southampton was far from glorious,
Lallana was top of many a shopping trolley,
Everton fans didn’t mind that City were victorious,
24 years would be 25 so close to the holy grail,
Liverpool’s title dream blown over by a strong Gayle,
Chelsea missed their chance after they drew a blank,
Yaya Toure showed the world again he is a human tank,
A fond farewell for a rock hard serb,
Nemanja Vidic good luck at Inter,
Apart from games against Liverpool you really have been superb,
Another season we ask ourselves ‘Who would be a referee?’
Sunderland made us believe in miracles,
They owe Liverpool a thanks for the services of Fabio Borini,
Norwich were flapping at the bottom the Canaries off their perch,
Van Gaal looks like the new chosen one,
Lets hope theyve done their research,
And so the final day of action,
We’d felt elation, pain and genuine satisfaction,
Results that shocked and decisions beyond reason,
Ultimately a routine end to a mind bending season,
City strolled past a lame and tame Hammer,
Agueros final day highlight this time,
His first English interview including some questionable grammar,
Deserved champions who found the perfect mixture,
Flair, speed and power were witnessed fixture after fixture,
Thankyou Premier League 2013/2014,
For one of the greatest seasons ever seen,
When Saturday comes il have time to fill,
But in the mean time,
Theres always the World Cup in Brazil.

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