Colleen!
¶ 1
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Them Sunday rags have got you riled
A Ford Fiesta’s more his style
Or maybe a Mondeo, dear Colleen
An Escort doesn’t suit our Wayne
It’ll take his mind of Ingerland games
It’s rubbish if yer asking me? Colleen.
¶ 2
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Capello promised Wayne a Merc,
Till he said: “The Escort does for work”
I’m sure there’s an explanation here Colleen
Some bird is out there spinning yarns
Whom Max Clifford greets with open arms
Straight up it’s nowt but porky pies Colleen.
¶ 3
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Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen
Please don’t get rid just because you can
Coleen, Coleen, Coleen, Coleen
Who cares if Wayne’s an Escort driving Manc?
¶ 4
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You seem a Judy knows her La
And what he looks for in a car
Are Escorts what he likes to drive Colleen?
Beamers, Benzo’s, Rollers, Mercs
A top notch players paid for perks
Why Escorts when he’s so much cash Colleen?
¶ 5
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He’s played away and scored a goal
So Ingerland are on a roll
Have patience with that man of yours Colleen
I know his brains are in his….feet
And you’re indoors sat feeling sick
The nation needs some slack cut here Colleen.
¶ 6
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Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen
Please don’t get rid just because you can
Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen
Who cares if Wayne’s an Escort driving Manc?
¶ 7
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I’ve heard it said that Croxteth men
Sire kids and TDA at ten*
So maybe that’s the problem here Colleen
A scouser up amongst them Mancs
Won’t get a single word of thanks
Have pity on yer man, won’t you Colleen.
¶ 8
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He’s stuck up there in all that rain
The only fun he has is games
In Escorts when your in the club Colleen
John Terry’s just been on the phone
He’ll console you till Wayne comes home
With a shoulder you cry on dear Colleen.
¶ 9
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Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen
Please don’t get rid just because you can
Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen
Who cares if Wayne’s an Escort driving Manc?
¶ 10
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There’s something bout your man and cars
Your baby’s names an hatchback star
Pray please explain it to us fans Colleen
Perhaps if banned he’ll stay indoors
Cease driving Escorts anymore
And score more goal for Ingerland Colleen.
¶ 11
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He don’t look happy on the field
Found Berbatov has nicked his wheels
Tell us what’s your take on this Colleen?
A Bulgur in an Escorts fine
But a tea leaf in the forward line*
Is more than a mere man can stand Colleen.
¶ 12
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Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen
Please don’t get rid just because you can
Colleen, Colleen, Colleen, Colleen
Who cares if Wayne’s an Escort driving Manc?
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