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Going Like the Clappers

S B Ingle

Wednesday, March 26th, 2014

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 As if it wasn’t bad enough
Anticipating the ‘big’ game
It seems our atmosphere was lacking
And it’s us fans who are to blame

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The club again patronised us
Providing clappers to help us make some noise
It’s like a kid with a Happy Meal
Stacked out with rubbish plastic toys

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Since 1902 we’ve known what to do
‘On The Ball City’ the oldest football song known
Instead of giving us something to cheer
They give us plasticised paper which drones

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Is this a fine gesture from our sponsors?
Dishing out authorised litter to clutch in our hands
To make it worse they print the words of our song
And secure one end with elastic bands

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 To me, this action seems hapless
I hoped I’d seen the last of hand-clappers
Just give me a free Curly Wurly
Sort out our defensive cat-nappers

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 This game of ours has many parts
Made up of loyal fans and back slappers
We could do without wild speculation
Rumours, rule breakers, press pappers

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 Some things are welcome at our game
Like Barclay Boys and Snake Pit rappers
Other things strike the wrong chord
Like strapless boots and Charleston flappers

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Bring back toilet rolls and men walking round with the score
We can put up with stewards and wind blown crisp wrappers
But I can’t pretend all’s well and I’m having fun
In a made up club of Shunters and Wheeltappers

Notes

Printed yellow and green ‘hand clappers’ were provided to all home fans before the game against Sunderland on Saturday, having made their debut towards the end of last season. The 26,000 items of landfill did nothing to enhance my match day experience. They did, however, provide the away fans with much amusement and jolly banter

I may be the only fan who hates them. But I do hate them.

P.S. We won 2-0. Damn things work.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/going-like-the-clappers/