How To Write A Football Poem
¶ 1
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First, you need a pen. But in order to get one
you’ll have to go down in the box
that you keep them in.
¶ 2
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Next, you’ll need paper.
Not the back of that fag packet
that you scribbled next Saturday’s team on, no―
throw it away! In fact, throw away all those mucky
scraps you scrawl on, but keep a clean sheet
in front of you.
¶ 3
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Next you need to get practical, get tactical
and sort out your formation –
Put yourself in goal so you can save all your drafts.
You’ll need a defensive quatrain,
a midfield triolet,
a couplet of wide-men
and someone with iambic feet up front.
¶ 4
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To fill up your poem you’ll need to attract―
-a kid to sit on a stanchion and tap out
a rhythm for your scansion,
-a bloke with a Coke, a guy with a pie
and a girl to twirl a football rattle
(if she’s poetic herself that’s half the battle)
¶ 5
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-a quatraining sessions
in front of the new stanza
and don’t forget to sort your feet out.
Nicely done.
And more nonsense please!
I’ve always been a big fan of Eddie’s!
Clik