It’s the rumour season again
¶ 1
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Oh for those rumours
Whispers in clandestine
Behind the scenes
Rooms of bleary eyed
Bewilderment
Could somebody enlighten us
This is the moment
Where football jumps
Onto that same bandwagon
The land of conjecture
That unknown destination
Where advanced talks
Drift away on clouds of speculation
It’s the transfer game
Folks. It’s that moment
During the summer when everything
Gets lost in a haze
Of bewilderment
Are you signing him?
Or is he willing to consider
For a million a week
Plus add ons
This time West Ham
Although European winners
Have yet to find anybody
To replace Declan Rice
A catastrophe,
Apocalypse in the
Here and now
Or maybe not
Patience is the essence
Fear not
But there are three
Weeks to go
Before the Premier League
Cranks up its complex machinery
And still
Gaps are yawning
In claret and blue chasms
A sense of desperate yearning
For somebody to replace the
Rice riddle
So far Ward Prowse, Gallagher,
McTominay, Maguire
From United’s Theatre of Dreams
And still we await visits
From neighbouring dignitaries
Declan, now back page history
March forward into uncharted
Territories
Find the perfect alchemy
A chemistry of sodium chloride
That explodes from the London
Stadium Bunsen Burner
Trouble we gather from behind
The scenes, coaches leaving
En masse.
Oh surely not rumblings of
Discontent again
Moyes in splendid isolation
We wonder if anybody
Can be running the show
Off the main stage in the wings
Every summer now
The same discussions, burblings,
Small talk, edging closer
To agreements, then dissenting
Voices.
It sounds just like another
Day at the House of Commons
Or should that be the House of Comedy
More Westminster rather than
West Ham
Corridors, lobbies, tea rooms
Alive with
Knotty negotiations,
More questions than answers
Personally Ward Prowse is
The missing link
If only for his Beckham
Free kick prowess
But Gallagher seems
Like wishful thinking
More Noel and Liam
Than claret and blue
Trophy cabinet rooms
It’s all very hush hush
Secrecy, hidden away
Mysterious goings on
Where nothing concrete
Has been set in stone
The East End public
Should be informed
Since Paqueta, Bowen
And Benrahma are awaiting
Yet more inspiration
To soften the blow of Declan’s
Switch to the Gunners
Cannonades
Irons cloaked in darkness
Not the new faces
Of claret and blue hue
Just a few
Would be welcome
Our European heroes
Might have been expecting
So hold on tight
Jig saw pieces re-discovered
The summer of 2023
But not 42
Mood music
Just a sharp injection
Of new men
Ready for opening day
Strolls along Bournemouth
Prom.
What the faithful would
Give for elusive victory
In this season’s edition
Of the Premier League
Leave the beachside fun
And games
For seaside day trippers
West Ham. Oh
Just a win
Before talks fizzle out
Become history
This is where the season
Begins. West Ham
Be prepared
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