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Mole of Kintyre

HUGH MORRIS

Sunday, June 12th, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Once upon a time,
deep inside a hole
down in sou’wes’ Scotland,
lived Captain Arthur Mole..
he led Dynamole Kintyre,
who played on Friday nights,
an’ ’cause they could see in th’ dark,
did not need floodlights…

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Matched ag’inst th’ Manxcats,
Captain Arthur Mole spoke up,
“‘Twould be a catastrophe
if they should take th’ Cup..
so let’s go out an’ show ’em
how Dynamoles can fight!!”
an’ so sayin’ took th’ field
in The Stadium of Night…

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Fanatic feline foo’ball fans
waved scarves an’ wore red hats
upon th’ hill behind th’ goal,
they were th’ Kop-i-cats..
while way down at th’ other end,
moles molevolently booed,
thronging in their thousands,
a mighty moletitude…

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Mr. Kerr, th’ Manxcats’ Manager,
categorically said,
“M’ purrfect team will win th’ Cup,
or m’ name’s not Fred..”
but Dynamole’s star striker
could kick jus’ like a mule,
his teammates called him Harry,
’cause he was a mole-i-Kewell…

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Harry hammered home a hat-trick,
put th’ Manxcats in their place,
while moles all celebrated,
th’ losers limped off in disgrace..
Fred Kerr, their boastful Manager,
was bound t’ change his name,
so, suggested by supporters,
became known as Wayne…

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Captain Arthur Mole hung up his boots
sayin’, “Hoots mon an’ och aye,
’tis now goin’ t’ be m’ goal
t’ go forth an’ moletiply..”
he fathered lots o’ bairns an’ weans
wi’ a wonderful wee wife,
an’ lived happily ever Arthur
thro’out his Kintyre life…

© Llew Beaton 12 June 2005

Notes

Not really true, just a furry story…

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/mole-of-kintyre/