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Pardew needs ‘If’, Not Butts

S B Ingle

Saturday, March 1st, 2014

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Can we have some decorum please?
Before the door on sportsmanship is slammed shut
I expect tactics and team talks from managers
With a handshake, not a headbutt

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 The game has to have physical contact
Players have to contest the ball
I don’t expect the men in suits
To lose their rag and start a brawl

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Managers must lead by example
In a field of thunder, blood and cuts
If he has a point to make
He shouldn’t make it with his nut

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Come on Alan, use your loaf
Keep cool, don’t be a numbskull
You could have been proud of yourself as well as your team
After winning four-one at Hull

Notes

Thought I’d misheard when the radio report said Pardew had headbutted a Hull player. I understand ‘heat of the moment’ but Pardew’s had too many moments now. Mr Pardew, I suggest you read ‘If’ by Kipling.
As for your head, keep it under your hat! Preferably, a large, soft, thick woolly one so you don’t hurt anyone.

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/pardew-needs-if-not-butts/