ROMAN’S CHELSKI
¶ 1
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I got all the money from the Soviet state
I got rid of that Chelsea guy, Ken Bates
I put some of my roubles into that London club
I even bought myself an Irish pub
I bought everything a guy could collect
But one thing I don’t have is football respect
¶ 2
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I can’t decide who I want for coach and friend
Should it be Ranieri or Sven Goran Eriksson
Of course I want the best man for the job
Wouldn’t want to have to face a Chelsea mob
I realize some of my midfielders are brain dead
But Sven promised me Mister Pavel Nedved
¶ 3
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I spent over a hundred million English quid
I even bought a player from Real Madrid
I bought Parker from Charlton, made him cry
He acted like a baby – maybe I bought the wrong guy
I can buy everything in life that I deem vital
But the only thing I can’t buy is a Premiership title
¶ 4
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I bought from ManU, Juan Sebastian Veron
All I had to do was get on the phone
Ruthless business that I am
I even bought Joe Cole from relegated West Ham
You think I’m crazy, I’ll tell you how crazy I am
I even thought about buying Tottenham
¶ 5
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I’ve been shopping again – I’ve had enough
Can’t wait for that injured Irishman Damian Duff
I want to buy players oh so very much
Just bought someone from PSV – I like going Dutch
I can’t stick with guys who are easily fatigued
I just want to buy that damn Champions League
¶ 6
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Who else can I buy with all my cash
Love throwing it around, making a big splash
I’d love to buy Arsenal’s Thierry Henry
Then winning everything would be child’s play
Thierry up front, what a thought
But he’s loyal to his club, not like the guys I bought
¶ 7
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I’ll toy with Chelsea for a year or two
Got so much to spend and nothing else to do
It’ll get to the point where all of this gets boring
You’ll see me on TV resting, maybe snoring
Just give me two years and you will see
I’ll take my roubles and say goodbye to Chelski
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