Stamford Bridge Retirement Home?
¶ 1
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We used to have a football club
T’was in the Royal borough
Two championships we won back to back
It was looking good for tomorrow
¶ 2
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We thought we’d like to change it round
And this I can’t condone
We’re no longer now a football club
But a footballers retirement home
¶ 3
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Coming to the end of yer career?
Feel yer time is up?
Get yer agent to gizz a bell
Then we’ll sign you at our club
¶ 4
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Age is so important
You must be twenty eight plus
We’ll pay you dough your mind to blow
If you come and play for us
¶ 5
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Three year deals, brand new wheelchair wheels?
Don’t matter much to us
A zimmer frame before the game
With a Prada suit? No fuss
¶ 6
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There’s rack outside the dressing room
Where you can park yer sticks
Where two age concern representatives
Will advise you on new hips
¶ 7
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A hundred and thirty grand a week?
Is sure some pension plan
To an over the hill kinda idol
Who thinks he’s still “The Man”
¶ 8
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What chance has any young player
Who comes to join our club?
Sadly days are long, long gone
When you met yer idols in the pub
¶ 9
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Yes London is the place to be
In the lovely Royal borough
Where the first eleven are too old to train
But Mourinho don’t seem bothered
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