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They Stole Our Rice

John J O’Connor

Monday, September 24th, 2018

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 I witnessed a commotion in my local saloon
With an Irish fan ranting and acting the loon
“They stole our potatoes
now they’re after our Rice.”
He was so agitated he screamed it out twice.
“They took our potatoes
now they’re taking our Rice
I always knew Southgate
acted way too much nice.”

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 I soon came to realise it weren’t Rice from Vietnam
But young Declan Rice
who plays for West Ham
Southgate got young Declan to talk on the phone
And played him the song
Foot—ball’s Coming Home.
He told him he was the greatest
Young player he had seen
Who’d look better in white
Than wearing the Green.
“You’ll get plenty of endorsements
I’ll make you a star
And you’ll be in my squad
When we go to Qatar.”

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 So as the Irish fan by bouncers
Was thrown out of the pub
He still screamed of Rice
And the stealing of Spuds.
So who Declan will choose
It remains to be seen
The Three Lions of England
Or the boys in the Green.

Notes

Highly rated,19 year old Declan Rice of West Ham has been capped on three occasions by the Republic of Ireland. None however of these matches were classed as competitive so Gareth Southgate approached Rice with an offer to play for England the country of his birth. He then declined a place in Martin O’Neil’s squad for the Nations Cup match v Wales, citing his need to think over his future choice of country to represent. His decision caused uproar in Ireland with a few ex Irish internationals saying they were disgusted with Rice’s refusal to join the squad. That was until the most famous assistant manager in the world, Roy Keane, took the story off the back pages when word got out about the rucktions he caused between himself, Harry Arter and Jonathon Walters.
As of now it seems almost certain that Rice will opt for the Three Lions.

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/they-stole-our-rice/