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What football means to the man above

Blasphe Mouse

Friday, March 21st, 2008

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 For the season that’s in it

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 In the beginning
there was life –
but would you Adam & Eve it?
No football.

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Caine and Abel came along
and set the tone for the terraces –
but still no football.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 Moses climbed to the top of Mt Sinai
and fable has it, he dropped a tablet –
damn, there went the original FA rulebook
(with offside perfected 🙁

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Looking down on his Kingdom
God saw that all was good
but needed someone more in his likeness;
thus the mould was set
and left in cold storage for centuries
until unleashed in the field of Ann :
Robbie Fowler.
But as yet, no football.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 Lo!
the very first incarnation of Sepp Blatter –
step forward Noah
He had Rams, Stags, Wolves, Foxes
He had Bluebirds, Owls, Eagles
He had Lions, Terriers, Tigers
He had Bantams, Bees and Bulls
He had Canaries, Magpies, Throstles
He had Hornets, Peacocks, Robins
He had Seagulls, Shrews and Swans
And thus was created the very first League
And in the beginning – it was dubbed the Pairedship.
But still no football.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 My guess
is that one of the pigs got pregnant
and the other one kicked the bucket
and thus ’twas in that poor porkie’s memory
that a crowd gathered
to re-enact his last moment
and so perhaps we can explain the kicking
but the mystery still remains –
who thought to blow up the pig’s bladder?

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 Howandever
at last
we had football!
And so we give thanks and praise
to our unknown benefactor;
Forsooth
Rugby has its William Webb Ellis –
perhaps we bow to a higher deity.
For the only ones in the know
are Noah, his wife
Shem, Ham, Japheth
and …
the man upstairs.

© Blasphe Mouse, Easter 2008

Notes

My money’s on the backbone of every family, the one who usually has every solution : the mammy, Noah’s wife : Naamah / Emzara (depending which story you believe, she’s not named in the Bible). The mother of all mankind infact.

This was written very much tongue-in-cheek by a firm believer in God and the Bible.
I also see myself as catholic in taste.
If it’s not to yours, then apologies.

But I hope the biggest problem people have with this poem –
is the chronology 😉

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/what-football-means-to-the-man-above/