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You’re Out Of Touch. Well Maybe?

kevin raymond

Monday, August 22nd, 2005

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 The game was moving quickly
As games right now will do
A portly man looked sickly
At pace, physique on view

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 ‘ How come you didn’t see that?
You’re a blimmin well disgrace
Keep up with game
What’s your dads name?
You’re so far off the pace’

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Football fans are cutting
With dry, sarcastic quips
But this bloke could have been the Michelin man
With what was on his hips!

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 As second half got started
Things went from bad to worse
A total lack of communication?
Why are these blokes so terse?

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 Incidents did happen
Right there on the touch line
But a linesman right on top of them
Ignored them, just declined

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 An unfit bloke by now a joke
Tried to do his best
But his heart was banging like a hammer
Would it jump out of his black vest?

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 All sorts of things were happening
To enrage and anger fans
While three blokes who couldn’t hack it
Ignored them cos they can!

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 I lost me voice and not through choice
I must tell you one thing
Berating refs and linesmen
Does not make my bell ring!

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 If our idols were so unprepared (David James)
It would drive us mad
To see these three jokes
In charge of twenty two blokes
Is worrying and sad!

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 Will the bloke who makes recommendations
To our sweet FA
On referee’s and linesman
Tell of what went on today?

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Games lost and won
All the fun is in the hands of men
Who are truly unfit amateurs
Is it time to start again?

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 A walk around the touchline
Is no way to get fit
Make them train like the professionals do
So they’ll keep up with it!

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 I’m not talking here of bias
To home team or away
But to blow the pea and stop the spree
For nothing, spoils our game!

© kjp raymond 2005

Notes

Chelsea versus Arsenal, Stamford Bridge 21st August.

Good officials are not normally noticed, but as the poem suggests this lot were just awful!

The game itself wern’t that much better either come to think of it!

Three blokes who, it would seem did’nt like talking to each other just lost the plot completely.

The referee was so unfit, he was off the pace to see what was going on, but wasn’t helped by his assistants who were much nearer incidents than he was, yet declined to put their flags up or even converse with him about things he couldn’t possibly have seen and they did.

Has Graham Poll been nicked for d an d or something cos the bloke next to me kept calling him a drunken barsteward or words to that effect, I’ve been away so didn’t get to read the back of the papers that often, let me know.

As I say in the poem, like the lovely and so gracious Mr Ranieri used to tell us in his fantastically funny and sometimes very moving comments,
‘ its not the business of me or my players to criticize officials, so we don’t ‘ but… these blokes need to be sharp and fit in body and in mind to keep up with the hundred miles an hour game that is English football!

There is, as all you true fans out there who post here know, so much riding on them getting it right and being up and in touch with the play.

I feel so much better after that.

peace.

kev

Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/youre-out-of-touch-well-maybe/