Football Poets

We’re doomed Captain Mainwaring

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 And so the sound of silence
Descends over the London Stadium
West Ham gone, the rivers of
Relegation rushing into
That mad, downward spiral
Broken masonry, shattered dreams
Anguished architecture
How they miss Upton Park?
Stratford, rather like that old
Library across the roads
And streets of our lives
Now just a heart breaking whisper
The ghost town
We’d always dreaded
Rather like that familiar
Simon and Garfunkel ditty
You can hear that silence
Strange and almost supernatural
Goodbye dear claret and blue
Friend we knew so well
The heart is beating
But only just
Men, women and children
With heavy chains
Dragging them down
Into the Championship
Surely this is the case
The unavoidable reality
Sets in like hard ice
And a wintry burst of snow
West Ham condemned to the
Harsh and remorseless elements
Of woe and now wasted hope
Last night Forest hacked down
Those dense, twisted branches
Of East End resistance
A tangle of one crisis after another
Suddenly, an eerie stillness
Hangs painfully in the
East London air
Breathing doom and gloom
The Grimmest Reaper poised
To claim its victim of
Circumstance, it has to be
The end of the once thriving
Barking Road
No point in dwelling on
What might have been
The solemnity of the stunned
Relegation hovers over the
Trapdoor
Like the greyest sheet
Gallows humour
You can almost hear
The sobbing Bobby Moore
Crying like a child of nature
Bonzo and Mooro no longer here
But fuming, two angry men
Faces as red as London
Route Master buses
Boiling with indignation
We can see them now
How did it come to this?
This one has been coming for ages
It’s time to leave the building
West Ham United
Relegation in January
You could hardly make this one up
Even mathematics have now
Given up on claret and blue
Loyalists, shameful sorrow
Grips and clings to the
London Stadium
Palatial rafters
Like the tightest vice
The fatal blow is almost
Upon the unhappy Hammers
West Ham fans
Drinking gallons of consolation
On their 100th
Pint of Fosters foaming
Amber nectar
But can they survive?
No way Jose
Resigned to their fate
Of course West Ham
Have been here before
Same time, same place
Familiarity now breeding
Fury and bloodthirsty blame
It’s the board’s fault
Sullivan and Brady
We suggest you leave the
Country now
You’re not welcome at
Any gathering or dinner party
No white flags of surrender
As such, but the game’s up
Since the opening day massacre
At Sunderland
Where Mackems were merciless
It’s time to walk out of that
Stage door, West Ham
Millwall, Charlton, Portsmouth
Quite possibly Preston
Await your less than
Olympic presence
Just make sure to close
The door behind you
Oh dear, another season
In the second tier
Pretty bubbles no more
Barring a small miracle
Seven points adrift
It’s that dark hole
The abyss of nowhere
But keep the faith
Come on you Irons

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