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A Toffee in Number Ten

Denys E. W. Jones

Sunday, July 26th, 2026

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 They should not go together,
Football and politics.
These two are hostile elements,
Which really should not mix.

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 We’ve heard this sentiment expressed
Once, twice and yet again,
But look what we have here right now –
A Toffee in Number Ten!

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 Before there was a Gooner,
Keir Starmer, you’ll recall.
But now it’s Andy Burnham,
Cos he’s more on the ball.

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 He used to frequent Goodison,
Now goes to Hilly Dicks,
To watch the likes of Beto,
Barry, Branthwaite, Jordan Picks.

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 I sympathise with those of you
Who are a mite confused.
In politics the man’s a Red,
In football he’s a Blue.

6 Leave a comment on verse 6 0 And some among you may just be
A little bit perplexed.
In football he’s a diehard Blue,
In politics a Red.

7 Leave a comment on verse 7 0 And what about the man himself
When he climbs into bed?
What colour ‘jamas does he wear?
I wonder, blue or red?

8 Leave a comment on verse 8 0 So when it comes to policies,
What path will Andy tread?
As PM his sole colour
Without doubt should be red.

9 Leave a comment on verse 9 0 Should have no truck with Trickle Down,
Or hiking fares of buses.
His grasp of economics is
Much better than Liz Truss’s.

10 Leave a comment on verse 10 0 He’s promised every Postcode
The benefits will reap
Of his bold plans to turn things round,
And every pledge to keep.

11 Leave a comment on verse 11 0 Yet s’pose when he gets out of bed
He still feels that he’s Blue.
If he forgets that he’s a Red,
Who knows what he might do?

12 Leave a comment on verse 12 0 Might sell off Council Houses,
Might privatise the Cops.
Might build huge hypermarkets,
Shut down the High Street shops.

13 Leave a comment on verse 13 0 Might not safeguard the NHS,
Might lengthen waiting lists,
Might grind the faces of the Poor,
Refuse to tax the Rich.

14 Leave a comment on verse 14 0 In short, he might just make things worse,
And won’t our problems fix,
Which would be proof that politics
And football should not mix.

15 Leave a comment on verse 15 0 26/7/26
Denys E. W. Jones

Notes

The United Kingdom has a new Manager, sorry, Prime Minister, and he supports Everton, like me.

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Source: https://footballpoets.org/poems/a-toffee-in-number-ten/