Universal Response
¶ 1
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How come you’re so bad at sums,
And come down sick when test time comes?
Ermm, football.
¶ 2
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Why are your school shoes scuffed and split
And full of mud and grass and grit?
Duh, football.
¶ 3
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Classes end at ten to four,
So why were you not home before?
Umm, football.
¶ 4
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Where were you three hours ago,
When we were looking to go see a show?
Aah, football.
¶ 5
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Why’s our transport system brutal,
Despite the Government’s strong refutal?
Lemme see. Football?
¶ 6
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Why did George invade Iraq
Although the world was on his back?
Simple. Football.
¶ 7
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Why did life begin on earth,
Though other planets have a dearth?
Could it be..? Football?
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