Football Poets

Are U Going To Scarboro’ Yeah? (It’ll End In Tiers – Pt 2) Where Minnows Dream (Pt 1)+Tea For The Tinkerman

1.Are U Going To Scarboro’ Yeah? (It’ll End In Tiers- Part 1)
2.Where Minnows Dream….(Part 2)
3 Tea For The Tinkerman (Ranieri Stuff)
4.Fuse Box 3…….(Online Classic Stuff)
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1.Are U Going To Scarboro’ Yeah? (It’ll End In Tiers)
(Minnow Dream Part 2)

So are you going to Scarborough yeah?
Wouldn’t you rather be massaging your hair?
Pampering your egos showing off your cars
Papparazzi heaven and celebrity bars..
Wouldn’t you rather be ‘lording it’ up West
Out on the town and looking your best
Premieres, posh-dos, shopping at Harrods
What do you know about mushy peas and faggots?
And what IS the Conference how would YOU know?
Isn’t IT a meeting with Roman & Co?
And have you heard of it and what do you care
But Scarborough are ready and you better beware

Now i’ve been a Chelsea fan all my life
Bored friends stupid and bored my wife
Cos I grew up in sight of the lights
Shone in my room on Fiftles’ nights
Nights when they’d score four but let in five
Great up front – the worst defence alive
And i still remember nightmare ties
Darlington dumped us but it wasn’t a surprise
‘Cos we’ll give Roma a run for their money
But show us a minnow and we go all funny

Theatre of Chips now is where you’re bound
Four thousand voices and a sweet little ground
They’ve done it before and they’ll do it again
You guys blow it there-and that’ll be the end
Now I don’t know what it’s like in your world
Big Time, bling-bling caviar and pearls
Cos I went out with a beauty named Barbara
But i never seen nothing quite as pretty as Scarborough

So if you’re going To Scarborough..yeah?
You better watch out an’ you better beware
Makelele, Mutu, Geremi and Cole
You’ve got money but they’ve got soul
David and Goliath or David and Posh
Mill to the grindstone – or bosh bosh bosh?
Are you as good as Mister Russia’s dream
Or do you only hack it when you play a big team
So batton down the haches backs to the wall
Or you’ll come back with nothing at all
No more running out in front of Forty- thou
No more chat shows and acting highbrow
No more forty grand coming in a week
I’m warning you guys the future’s looking bleak
Nothing but shame and deep deep fears
And like the San Siro- it’ll end in tiers.

C.Crispin Jan 04.
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2.WHERE MINNOWS DREAM (Part 1)

what is it about the third round of the cup?

more magic than the Secret Garden
when you find yourself in it
on that great day

and more than the respite
from lower region relegation struggles
or where you are
in relation to the big three
or whether you can stay in the league at all
no – it’s deeper
and though you can’t nail it
you feel it
inside
every time

feel it at Telford
feel it at Scarborough –
feel it at Watford
feel it at Arsenal

and just to ice it
a new year sprinkle of snow
like fairy dust
on days like this
where minnows dream

and nine or ninety – who will not feel
this is it
your year
your name on the trophy
your time to fantasize..

and scouring the games – those impossible pairings
the cup throws up .
it’s hearts in mouth time
of lambs to the slaughter or lions to the humbling
and striving from the heart
nothing to lose – nothing to fear
when you’re out of your league
with faces painted
it’s david and goliath meets school- band v Westlife
and who’s to say
this might just be your day

but tell me friend
whose neutral heart cannot but fail to leap
when Cheltenham take the lead at Fulham
with leagues between them –
or eyes strain at Kidderminster
when smoke from passing steam-trains
wafts over like fifties mists or war pea-soupers?

or Yeovil where twenty victims fell before
down Huish’s long gone and dreaded slope
or dodgy goals that did or didn’t cross that line?

and then all too soon it’s over..
no non- league team in the final
no Man United at home
no mega pay-day or trip to Anfield
not this year anyway
but hey
you know in your heart
you really need to concentrate on the league
(and staying in it)
anyway

but still – above it all..
isn’t it just the way
that always
always
no sadder sight to see
than one more
hand carved in love
and now discarded
cardboard
silver-paper
fa cup
lying trampled
in the rain

c crispin Jan 04

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3.TEA FOR THE TINKERMAN

tinkerman tinkerman cook me a team
pick with your eyes closed
and give me a dream
pat it with mutu or crespo or duff
veron it with joe cole and all of that stuff

keep on rotating it’s good for the side
we tinker by day and we tinker by night
but i ‘tink its time for the tink’ring to stop
hello there roman it’s time that we shop..

bring tea for the tinkerman ply it with coke
red bull or purdeys before we’re a joke
if this is the dream ticket where are we going
leicester or roma ther’e’s no way of knowing?

tinkerman tinkerman tell me no lies
whoever you pick let it be a surprise
sometimes your english and sweet little face
puts gerald and arsen and alex in place
but who will you pick when ronaldo is here
and who will you plum for when beckham is near

i hate to imagine how hard it must be
when sven’s always lurking and coming for tea
so tea for the tinkerman – wrap him up warm
remember the dark clouds are just ‘fore the storm
and get back on line now as fast as you can
or give them a fiver if they lend a hand
and then we’ll be happy and bouncy again
or otherwise ciao mate and hello there sven!

c crispin Jan 04
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4.FUSE BOX ISSUE 3 http://www.rattapallax.com/fusebox.htm

Lastly a big thank you and well done to Big Mouth organiser, perfomance football poet and Bristol icon Rosemary Dun for her wonderful Fuse Box 3 collection of performance poetry from poets around the globe..It features 5 football poets/about a dozen football poems and a great miix of loads of other good performance stuff …yours truly and Stuart plus more are there (how modest to give myself a mention ) ..check it out now at…. http://www.rattapallax.com/fusebox.htm
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