1966 and All That
¶ 1
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It’s not easy being an assistant referee,
scurrying up and down, up and down the touch line,
when there are so many shenanigans to see.
¶ 2
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Was an attacker standing offside is the key
judgement you must make, but the margins are so fine.
It’s not easy being an assistant referee,
¶ 3
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you need to be eagle-eyed, as fit as a flea,
able to draw parallels without log or cosine,
while there are so many shenanigans to see.
¶ 4
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When the left winger went down like a chainsawn tree
was the right back’s elbow an accident or malign?
It’s not easy being an assistant referee,
¶ 5
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signalling a throw while the home crowd disagree
loudly behind you, call you every kind of swine.
When there are so many shenanigans to see
¶ 6
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you don’t want to be like that Azerbaijani,
famous just for flagging the ball had crossed the line.
It’s not easy being an assistant referee,
when there are so many shenanigans to see.
Intriguing poem, Dave. I don’t think that Geoff Hurst shot would have survived VAR or goalline technology, and then where would the history of this country be, eh? Mind you, the Germans got their revenge in South Africa in 2010, when Lampard’s shot was clearly over the line but not given. (Was it a Paraguayan linesman on that occasion?) Plus the innumerable penalty shootouts … Fifty-five years of hurt, and still counting …