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When England Take On Italy (Again )

Crispin Thomas

Friday, July 9th, 2021

1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 when England take on Italy
what’s there to worry you or me?
they are an unknown mystery
and have so little history
a well-trained dog is all we need
to teach us how to hold a lead
we better not play prettily
when England take on Italy

2 Leave a comment on verse 2 0 Oh Italy oh Italy
you’ve always been a bit dodgy
your Cosa Nostra Mafia show
your match-fixing so macho
your Berlusconi Mussolini
album stickers from Panini
Zola Pirlo Pavarotti
and Peroni with biscotti
cappuccino coffee creamy
basil pesto and linguini
Venitian squares canals and bars
where you could really use some cars
we cannot lose we cannot fail
and just like in that fairy tale
we have the coach to take us all
but will we turn up at the Ball?
I hope we don’t play dismally
when England take on Italy

3 Leave a comment on verse 3 0 oh Italy oh Italy
I’m struggling here to find or see
the slightest thing that you have done
except grow olives in the sun
and all those roads you built to serve us
aren’t enough to make us nervous
your awful leaning Tower of Pisa
the Roman Empire Julius Caeser
Panacotta Tiramisu
Pasta and Spaghetti too
Your tasteless tacky Gucci bags
cannot compare with our tea bags
which when we’re making up a brew
stay in the cup more than we do
I’m sure we’ll thrash them fifteen three
when England take on Italy

4 Leave a comment on verse 4 0 when England take on Italy
oh why should we sleep fitfully?
our history speaks for itself
look at the trophies on our shelf
we are the finest in the land
we’ve even got a brilliant band
no need for some Da Vinci Code
when Southgate’s Army hit the road
we know the ending to the story
England always grab the glory
we better not play prettily
when England take on Italy

5 Leave a comment on verse 5 0 So Italy yes Italy
go keep your perfume from Capri
your indoor fireworks Balotelli
all those works by Botticelli
and singing waiters swaying hips
cannot compare with pie and chips
and you can strut in your Armani
we’ve got vegan rolls and sarnies
your girls on mopeds flying past
in dresses screaming style and class
who wave and often whisper “Ciao!”
we’re far more cool in Stroud somehow
the Final holds no fear at all
we’re much more dangerous off the ball
and stick your marble heads in Rome
’cause we’ve got Kane and we’re at home
I’ll change my name to Penelope
when England conquer Italy

Notes

I first wrote a lot of this in 2014 and published it here for the World Cup 14..

This then is a 2021 updated Euro remix promo version
.Other Italian clichés are available. Bless

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Source: http://footballpoets.org/poems/when-england-take-on-italy-again/