One picture is worth a thousand words (True Story)
¶ 1
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It just goes to show
That when you don’t know
Something, it’s good to ask
Rather than bask
In blissful ignorance.
For instance,
When I got on the train at Bristol,
And sat opposite a suave, tall
Young man with wires in his ears,
I asked him (I’d had a couple of beers)
If he was listening to the football.
“No”, he said, and my footfall
Took me to the buffet car,
And even more Stella Artois;
Then at the next station
He said, “Excuse me, do you know how to spell attention?
He was texting inexpertly,
And touched by his naivety,
I spelled it out
And in return, in this bout
Of reciprocity,
I, without verbosity,
Asked if he could get the Man. United score,
He said, “Good as done. Say no more”,
And he tried every route he could
In his attempt to prove a good
Companion. Texting here,
There and everywhere,
Every menu
You
Could think of,
And it was quite a lot,
But every route he tried,
Brought forth but no reply,
Until he asked me
If the match was on the telly,
“ITV”, I replied,
A gleam lit up his eye,
He then ‘phoned up his mum,
(I was all fingers and thumbs)
And with something of a quaver,
He said, “Mum, do us a favour,
Please put on the telly”,
(His mother’s name was Nelly),
“The channel’s ITV,
Have a look and see,
What’s the score mum?”
I just sat there dumb,
He said, “One nil to them.”
I said, “Who’s them?”
He gave a little groan,
And then picked up the ‘phone,
“Mum”…
I made a polite cough,
I had to get off.
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