Football Poets

Thomas Tuchel- the new England boss

¶ 1 Leave a comment on verse 1 0 Here’s a word or two
To all you doubting Thomases
It’s Thomas Tuchel
The new England manager
It’s true, you know
A German at the helm of
The England hot seat
Irony of ironies
Particularly since 1966
When the Germans insisted
That cheating and subterfuge
Had denied them the World Cup
At the hands of England
But now 58 years later
You have yet to be convinced
But here we are
The roles have been reversed
A German in charge of England
You have to be joking
Totally baffling
Because scepticism is
Bobbing around in
A raging, thunderous ocean
Of panic stations
Tuchel, it doesn’t seem to fit
No surely not, time for
Thinking and questioning
Why, it hardly makes any
Sense, whatsoever
A penny for thoughts
Of the football community
Radio phone ins pounding
To the beat of disgusted
Of Dover
Tuchel can’t be the
Right man
Or will he surprise
Us all?
Social networks
Reduced to anguished
Groaning desperately
Bleating and complaining
How did Thomas Tuchel
Become manager of England
Seemingly five minutes
At Chelsea but certainly
No Jurgen Klopp
Now he would have been
The overwhelming choice
But Thomas Tuchel
Winner of trophies
But not the poisoned chalice
Of England boss
The rumour mill was buzzing
Excitedly yesterday
With Pep as Blighty’s new boss
Now there’s one
Of the world’s finest
Coaches with four
Premier League titles
Unparalleled genius
But Tuchel is surely
No Sir Alf, nor Sir Bobby
Glen Hoddle, Kevin Keegan,
El Tel in his Barca pomp
Athleticism on the touch line
It’s true,
Scurrying and scampering
Like a liberated cheetah
On the run
Up and down the touchline
Gesturing and gesticulating
A war of words with a thousand
Referees, eyes blazing with
Anger, smoke pouring from boiling
Ears, baseball cap
Locked firmly on his head
But manager of England
Mr irate and irascible
Thomas Tuchel
It just feels as though
It’ll end in tears and tantrums
The England job requires calm detachment
Gareth Southgate
Showed us how to do it
Still, let’s see where
This coach will take us
So to speak
Let’s give the man a chance
Teutonic thoroughness
Guaranteed
No stone left unturned
Every detail researched,
Every formation studied
From every angle
But please no Christmas trees
Just yet
Thomas Tuchel
Manager of England
Patience has to be a virtue
Time is of the essence
For some
But let the probationary period
Start now
Thomas Tuchel
We place our faith
In you.

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